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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Childcare Options for the Working Mom (Part II)

Continuing my prior posts on childcare options available for the working parent, I will now discuss alternatives to in home day care.  Note this is meant to be a general guide, and from my experience only. Anyone referring to these posts should of course contact the particular provider to confirm whether these apply.
Traditional Day Care Center
Pros:
Licensed and regulated
Longer hours
Fewer care interruptions for weather, vacations or provider illness
Background checks for employees
More defined programs
Greater structure
Greater propensity for illnesses to spread may also build stronger immune systems long term

Cons:
Pick-up times and rules may be inflexible. Fees for late pick-up may be hefty
Higher child to provider ratio
Some decrease in level of personal interaction given to each child
Greater number of illnesses compared to in-home care
Strict rules on child illnesses (ie fever free for 24 hours before allowed back to the center)
Possible long wait lists
Greater liklihood that you will need to continue to pay for care (to keep your spot) on days when your child does not attend (ie for vacation or during maternity leave for a new sibling)

Au Pair
My husband and I have really enjoyed the au pairs that we have hosted in the past.  Programs vary but in general au pairs come to your home from another country and spend a year (or a summer depending on the type of au pair) in your home, living in your home with your family and providing up to 45 hours a week of childcare services.  Hours are flexible and generally set by you (with some restrictions such as one weekend a month off, and one whole day off per week etc.).  In addition, the au pair must take 6 credit hours of courses.  Our experience was very positive and incredibly valuable for our children. I now have 3 children who can speak Spanish with no discernable accent (for their age) and who are very open and accepting of cultural differences.  Our au pairs lived in our home and participated in many meals and we brought them on vacation but otherwise they spent a lot of their free time out with friends or in their rooms... since as anyone with young children knows, it's very hard to be in sight of them and still "off duty."  Thus there was some change in our family life, but we did not find it unpleasant or invasive.
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Extremely Flexible hours - the au pair could be on duty over night if needed, or in split shifts
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals or children's laundry
Your child may learn a new language
Your family may benefit from cultural diversity
For two or more children, generally a lower cost option overall
Regulated by the federal govenment
Au Pairs from a reputable program have background checks, must pass a basic English language evaluation and are given first aid and child care training before entering your home
Younger, often more fun childcare provider
Sick children can stay home with the au pair if needed
The au pair can drive the children to or from after school activities as required

Cons:
Upfront cost can be prohibitive since most programs require a hefty fee at placement
Some language challenges may occur
Some younger au pairs may have certain behavioral challenges (similar to having any young adult in your household)
Possible loss of privacy
Some additional effort on your part in terms of helping your au pair adjust to the U.S. and feel welcome
Some additional effort on your part in researching and interviewing candidates to find a good fit
45 hours a week may not be enough for some parents
Some inconveniences when the au pair takes his or her vacation or if they are very sick. (In my 3 years with au pairs, we have minor interruptions).
Some loss of social interaction if the au pair does not have playgroups

Traditional Nanny
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Possible Flexible hours depending on the provider
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals
Sick children can stay home with the nanny
Nanny may be able to drive children to and from after school activities

Cons:
Greater expense compared to some other options
Not officially regulated though providers may have first aid or child care education
Some interruption to service for provider's vacation, illness or weather
Would need to do some additional legwork to check references and do background check

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Crockpot Chicken Cacciatore

This morning I decided to put another of my favorite crockpot recipes in the crockpot. I am looking forward to coming home to this one tonight!  Normally I'm quite happy with 5 ingredient recipes for busy mornings.  This one is a little more labor intensive than I like, but it's worth it.  My kids all like it but of course I have to be careful not to put the peppers or onions or mushrooms on their plates.  I suggest larger families may want to double the recipe. It's quite good leftover also.

 I usually keep sliced green pepper, sliced onion and sliced mushrooms in my freezer. This way I can quickly grab them for this recipe and toss it in.  The freezer tip is also helpful because we don't eat mushrooms in many recipes. This one, the mushrooms do add value to the flavor and I don't really notice them when I'm eating it.  As with the onions and green peppers, I try to remove the mushrooms before a child spots it. :)

Crockpot Chicken Cacciatore
http://busycooks.about.com/od/chickenthighrecipes/r/cpcacciatore.htm



Chicken Thighs - I usually use four frozen
14 oz. can diced tomatoes with Italian seasoning (if you only have diced tomatoes just add more Italian seasoning separate)
6 oz. can tomato paste
1 cup chicken broth
1 onion, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 green bell pepper, sliced or chopped (I slice mine so I can easily identify them for the kids)
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 tsp. dried Italian seasoning
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. salt

Combine the above ingredients in your crockpot and mix to blend evenly.  The original recipe also calls for 1/2 cup dry red wine but I've never added it. We aren't wine drinkers in my house and I never seem to have any easily on hand. The recipe is just as good without but if you have wine you may want to try adding it. I imagine it adds a depth of flavor.  Cook on low 6-8 hours (I do 8 hours for my frozen thighs).

About a half hour before serving combine:
2 Tbsp. cornstarch

3 Tbsp. cold water

Add to the crockpot and continue cooking. This should help thicken the sauce.

I hope you enjoy this as much as we do! It's a nice twist to the traditional spaghetti and healthier too!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Big (or little) Kid lunch ideas

I've spent a lot of time browsing the web for recipe ideas.  I enjoy trying new things and my kids are somewhat difficult to please at lunchtime!  A question I often see posted is new ideas for school lunches.  Here's a few of my more creative ones :)  Originally I had grand plans to make fancy bento boxes! But I have since discovered that I do not have time to be excessively creative on a daily basis.  But I do try to do fun things when I can!

I like to serve regular sandwiches cut into fun shapes according to the season / holiday - christmas tree, snowflake, heart, circle etc.  My older son does not like crust on his bread so cutting with a cookie cutter actually saves me time and I get bonus points! Perfect :)

I also like to make quesadillas and send to school with dipping sauce. Regular cheese or chicken and cheese quesadillas cooked on the stovetop with a little oil and put in the lunchbox cold with a side of salsa are a big favorite with my older daughter.  Another big winner for everyone in my house is pizza quesadillas.  I cheat and make these in the microwave. I just take a low carb tortilla, spread a very thin layer of pizza sauce, add turkey pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, fold in half and microwave for about 30 seconds.  Then I seal the edges, let it cool and cut.  I send with pizza sauce for dipping.  They think this is a fun break from sandwiches.

I send hot foods like soups, leftover spaghetti, ravioli and even chicken nuggets in a thermos.  The kids say the food stays warm (not hot) by lunchtime.  I just put hot water in the thermos while I cook or microwave what I'm putting in there (to a hotter than normal temperature), then dump the water, dry it out and put the hot stuff in there.

Occasionally I send cheese, turkey pepperoni and crackers in their lunch box. I almost always send fresh cut fruit like assorted berries, apples, oranges etc. or in a pinch canned fruit like mandarin oranges, peaches or pineapple.

I try to use plastic containers for the lunches to reduce waste and keep life simple (the less I need to remember to buy, the better. I don't mind throwing it in the dishwasher).  I have a few of the sandwich boxes and the easy lunchbox containers that I use most often. My kindergarten son has no trouble using them.  Below is a link to the lunchbox containers I've been using. I find they fit nicely into a regular kids lunch box (or at least into my kids lunch box) and are convenient.

Best Lunch Box for Work, School, Bento Lunchboxes, Pack Fast: BPA free, single-lid, 3-compartment, bento style food containers, insulated coolers.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Meal Plan will help you through the week

Every week I try to plan out 7-8 days of meals to cover the next week. I have a list of meals that my family will eat that I keep in my datebook and I spend the week using the list and my moods (haha) to plan our meals.

When planning, I set a plan for the main dishes and sides for dinner.  I've occasionally planned out lunches too or weekend breakfasts, but my main goal is to get dinners planned out and prepped as much as possible on the weekends.

To that end, I will plan a weekend meal (like homemade spaghetti or a big turkey or ham) that I can use for a second quick meal during the week. I also try to pre-prep a meal or two, such as baked ziti or a ingredients for my crockpot. If I can prep a meal or two on the weekends, my weekdays are less crazy.  I also try to make my most labor intensive dish on Monday.  My inclination is to do an easy meal on Monday and my harder dish on Thursday or Friday. But I've found that if I wait until later in the week, I will be even more tired and more likely to do take-out or something quick.

I also plan at least one or two quick and easy meals to coincide with the kids (or my) activities.  Football nights, gymnastics, swimming lessons, baseball, PTA meetings... you get the idea.  Trying to prepare a meal in the midst of that is just an exercise in futility. McDonalds often ends up the problem solver.  To fix that problem, I try to do quick crockpot meals or something easy like chicken nuggets on those nights. I'm more likely to stick to the plan if it's already planned or done.

The crockpot is your friend. As you navigate this site, you will find many more crockpot recipes than normal recipes.  That's because I LOVE my crockpot. Truly.  The crockpot gets dinner on the table at a reasonable time 2 or 3 nights a week in my house. I've done small turkey breasts in the crockpot which smell like Thanksgiving when you walk in.  I've done many roasts and even a whole chicken in the crockpot. So many "long" and "difficult" meals are made more simple with a slow cooker.  Also if you like rice, I strongly suggest investing in a rice cooker. Best, easiest way to make rice and requires no standing at the stove stirring or watching, with the bonus of easy clean-up!  Another time saving tip that helps me out is pre slicing green pepper, onion, red pepper, celery and even carrots and keeping in ziploc bags in the freezer for quick access on busy nights.

Here's a sample of my meal plan for this week:
Sunday (Today): Crockpot chicken and dumplings, fruit salad
Monday: Slow Cooker Pork Chops (from All Recipes), Rice, Broccoli
Tuesday:  Chicken Cacciatore in the Crockpot, Spaghetti, Salad
Wednesday: Purdue breaded chicken, egg noodles, veggie
Thursday: pre-made Baked Ziti, Salad
Friday:  Pizza
Saturday:  Flank Steak with Chimichurri, Cucumber and Tomato Salad, Tortellini?

Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings for the busy mom

I've adapted this recipe from a similar recipe on Allrecipes.com. Nearly everyone in my house seems to like it, which is a great accomplishment with younger children! :)

Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
1 onion diced
2 carrots peeled and sliced
1 stalk of celery washed and sliced
2 potatoes peeled and diced into big chunks
4 chicken breasts (I usually use frozen)
1 1/2 cups of chicken broth
a few good shakes of Pepper
~ 1 tsp Thyme

Dumplings
Bisquick
Water as directed on the box
(as an alternative you can use refrigerated biscuit dough instead)

Combine the above in your crockpot. Cook on high for 4-5 hours or on low for 6-8 hours (use the longer cooking time if you are using frozen breasts or if your slow cooker is slower than average.  About an hour before the end of cooking time, mix up your Bisquick by following the directions for dumplings on the box.  Drop by tablespoon-fulls into your crockpot mixture and let cook for an additional hour to hour and a half.   Add additional salt / pepper as needed.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Childcare Options for the Working Mom

Every working mom has the difficult and critical decision of who should watch their little ones while they are at work.  And the inevitable guilt that comes with that decision.  Let's get this out of the way - chances are there is no one better suited to raise your child than you. In a perfect world, there would be no need for moms to sleep and we'd be able to work our 8, 10, 12 hours (earning money, challenging ourselves and fulfilling our personal desire to have adult conversation) while the kids were sleeping, and be a stay at home mom during their waking hours.  In reality, sleep is unfortunately necessary (to me at least).  So I will skip over the many reasons why you do need to work or why it's ok to work.  I will simply say (in this post), that if you are working, it's ok and there are many others like you.  And we all need childcare.

Here's a breakdown of the options, many of which I've tried.

In home daycare
We had my first child in an in-home daycare for the first 14 months of her life.  My sister was the daycare provider so I had a little extra confidence from that perspective (love my big sis!) but the concept is the same.
Licensed: 
Basically if possible it's best to use a licensed in home daycare provider. In my state, there is a listing on the state's website of providers and their phone numbers. So you could start there. The state usually has annual classes that the licensed provider needs to attend (child nuitrition, safety, etc), your provider will be first aid and CPR certified, and the state probably does inspections of the home to ensure all their guidelines are followed.  This will vary by state so be sure to check your state's requirements. There is an extra level of confidence in a licensed in home daycare provider, in my humble opinion.
Pros:
First aid / CPR
State regulated
Many meals and snacks are probably included and nutricious (be sure to check with individual provider)
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cost is usually reasonable / lower than a traditional daycare center
Cons:
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc.

Un-licensed
In home daycare that is not licensed by the state is also an option, and usually one of the lowest cost options available.  In general, there are plenty of excellent providers who are not licensed due to cost, time, or other reasons.  However, I suggest that extra caution must be exercised when using an unlicensed center.  You would want a clear view of all the spaces where your child would be playing and resting. You will want to reassure yourself of the safety of those spaces the same as you have at home (cabinets locked, outlet covers, gates for steps etc) as well as the cleanliness of the home. I would also want to observe the provider in action before bringing my child. Try to visit at a time when the other children are there.  Does the provider greet children by name and with enthusiasm?  Are the children acting normally?  How many children are there? Is there adequate space etc.  Personally, I would not like an un-licensed center unless I knew the provider.  But with research and careful attention, there are good options available.
Pros:
lower cost option
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cons
No oversight by the state
Less likely to be formally educated on nutrition, safety, first aid etc (you will need to question and observe on these)
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc

For more info on choosing an in home provider
http://www.babycenter.com/0_signs-of-a-good-home-daycare_6031.bc

More to follow soon...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Say what you mean, mean what you say and Get it done!

Speak up. Communicate. Explain. Advocate.
You are your own best cheerleader and your own best friend. One of the most important things you can do for yourself, is to advocate for what you need or desire.  This holds true in the workplace, where you must sell yourself, advocate for yourself, cover your backside, and "manage UP" to succeed. This holds true at home or in a relationship with your spouse or even your children! Tell the people you love and even those you don't like, how to satisfy your needs or wants. You are willing and able to do it with complete strangers at the credit card company; why not your spouse? Truly no one is a mind reader and your happiness is your own responsibility. 

Now, the above does not mean that you should go full circle and suddenly be completely selfish and self-serving. I think most of us can admit that most women, and especially most mothers, are simply not built that way.  We help others. We feed, clothe, clean, organize, teach, and raise others.  We backburner our own needs and desires to serve those we love. 

But we can be team players and self-promoting at the same time.  In the workplace, present your boss with your problems and your solutions.  For example, I have difficulty at work with one of the other managers.  I could say (to the big boss), "Joe does NOTHING. He makes me do all his work and then takes credit for what I've done and brown-noses his way to the top.  I'm unappreciated and fed up!"
But I need to take a step back and consider what this says about ME as well as him.  The above could result in my sudden recognition and promotion and Joe finally getting fired like he deserves! But more likely, that spiel will label me as a whiner, a trouble maker, a tattle-tale and not a team player.

In contast, I can say.  "I've noticed that certain other people are asking me to do this work for them on a regular basis.  I'm happy to help the team in urgent situations, but this takes away from my ability to handle my responsibilities. We need to teach them what they need to know to do the work themselves in the future.  Can I put together a training program for the entire team so that everyone is better prepared to find this information next time?"

I'm not a guru for all things business related and having 11 years in the working world, I still have much to learn. But in general the above exchange should result in you getting what you WANT and NEED while solving your problem and setting yourself up as a go-getter, problem solver, team builder.  And with luck, your boss will pay closer attention to who's doing what.

This same concept applies in your home.  Your husband or significant other is inconsiderate and does not ____ (Fill in the blank here - make dinner, do dishes, clean up after himself, get you a beer, give the kids baths, get you wine, give the kids attention, get you flowers...).  Marriage and relationships are about compromise.  You need to pick your battles and then you need to strategize about the most appropriate way to communicate your message. You need to know yourself well enough to decide if this is something you need to address or not.  And if it is, then you need to address it. Blowing up at your loved one after 10 years of the same repeated inconsiderate behavior does not do any good.  All that does is make you crazy and make the situation less likely to be solvable. 

Instead, consider addressing the problem after you've had some time to think it through and look at your emotions.  Type an email and re-read it a few times before you send it.  Remove words like "YOU" (or any subsequent cursing! haha) and replace with "I" or "WE".  Try to avoid placing blame or name-calling. Use the workplace "sandwich" approach. Positive, negative, positive.  I LOVE WHEN YOU...  It would be great if you could... I LOVE WHEN YOU...   In this way, it comes off less as blaming or criticism and more as friendly suggestions.

The above approach is best for times when you truly want results or change or simple consideration of your feelings.  There are times when you will just be ANGRY and need to vent to your significant other. When emotions are running high and you are emotional and need to get your anger out, it's best done over the phone rather than in written form.  Over the phone you can name call and place blame and curse.  And it won't be sitting there staring him/her (or you) in the face for all eternity.  But, at the same time, words resonate and what you say will sting and come back to them (sometimes not as nicely as you said it). So know what you mean, mean what you say and most of all get it done! 

It's ok to advocate for yourself. If you're allergic to everything under the sun, you should tell people what food to bring you (or at least a few choices).  You should not assume that they know or will remember exactly what you can or cannot eat.  Stand up and make it happen.  It should cause minor (if any) problems to the other person while making you much happier.  You won't lie around feeling unloved and depressed that no one remembered you; you will now be feeling happy and fulfilled.  :)

If you need that raise at work, go tell your boss all of your accomplishments and why you DESERVE a raise. What you have DONE. Complaining of your low pay isn't getting it done.
If your child is overlooked in school, go talk to the school about how your child can do better and be selected next time.  Sitting back complaining about favoritism isn't getting it done.
If you husband buys you a bunch of lumber for your birthday, talk to him.  Be grateful and thankful! Yet explain that you love how he thought of making your day to day easier and making a cozy fire for you day after day. But lumber is not a dream gift.  He may make a similar misstep next year but at least it will be off your chest and you'll be feeling better.

As with all things, life is flexible. You get out of it, what you put into it.  Stop complaining. Do something.  Stop trying to change the fundamentals of your significant other - let them be who they are.  DO something to ensure they treat you with the same courtesy.  Be your own advocate. You deserve to be happy as much as everyone else.  You still need to care for the ones you love. But they can do their part to care for you too. And that's OK.

The Crockpot - A mom's best friend

I love coming home to a home cooked meal.  The smells that hit you when you walk in the door are priceless.  I love the relaxing evening of just eating. I love a night off from rushing to put together a meal in the midst of kids and dogs and endless demands. 

My crockpot is my best friend.  Seriously. I kicked my husband to the couch, so my crockpot could have a spot to rest ;)  Of course I'm kidding. Thankfully the crockpot doesn't speak or it would have me making all kinds of concessions.  A good meal that I don't have to make is hard to come by!  Well, technically I did make this meal, but since I made it on average 8-10 hours prior... it doesn't FEEL like I'm making it, know what I mean?

Last night I made one of the simplest and yummiest meals I've found for my crockpot. I call it Mexican Chicken (actually, that might even be the name of the dish? I'm not sure since I've lost the original poster's information. If it's you, please claim it!).

Crockpot Mexican Chicken
Chicken breasts (I usually use 3-4 frozen)
Taco Seasoning packet (or use your own if you like)
A jar of salsa

Spray your crockpot / slow cooker with cooking spray.  Mix the taco seasoning and salsa together. Place your chicken in the crockpot and pour the salsa mix on top. Cook on low for 6-8 hours (I usually do 8-9 hours with frozen chicken) or on high for 4 hours.  Shred the chicken and serve warm on tortillas with shredded cheese of your choice (I like the mexican blend) and any other toppings you like.  Serves 4-6.