You choose your attitude every single day

 Many of us have been raised to expect the fairytale.  As women, we grew up with stories of the beautiful princess who finds her prince and lives happily ever after.  And we fully expect that we'll end up with our prince, in a huge castle with servants to help us and beautiful, happy children.

The reality is often quite different.  Life can be good, bad or ugly.  Life is not fair.  The good guys do not always win.  The prince sometimes never comes, or is a pauper or a frog.  The prince sometimes leaves.  The job may only be a paycheck.  The job may come with a crazy boss or long hours or little appreciation for our efforts.

So what is a woman to do?  She has an image in her mind of how her life will be.  That image is different for each of us but may include a clean and neat home, well behaved children, and a loving helpful spouse.  Maybe she sees herself dressed fashionably with beautiful hair, make-up and body.  Some days we will be living that dream.  And some days, the dream will dissolve into a house that looks like a bomb went off, sick or cranky children and a spouse who is less than we hoped.  And on those days, the mother is likely stressed out, extremely tired, perhaps sick herself, or otherwise less than the vision she had for herself.  Some days a woman will wish she could run away and hide, or press a reset button.  As a side note, I envision the reset button as something similar to the "sleep button" that would instantly put my children into a deep slumber when they are fighting bedtime at 9pm.  In other words, the reset button is just a fantasy. It's not going to happen.

Many people raise the timeless question of whether the glass is half full or half empty.  This is to prove the point that your ATTITUDE can determine whether you view something in a positive or negative light.  That glass has the same amount of milk - but we decide if it's on its way up or down.  Well I'm here to tell you, as much as we might wish or believe otherwise, that glass is going to be empty eventually.  And when the glass is empty, we can mope around mourning the loss of our milk and thinking about where we went wrong and how unfair it is that the glass is empty.  Or we can treat the empty glass as an opportunity.  Now that our glass is empty, we are free to try something new and different.  Maybe we try chocolate milk? Or wine? Maybe God has a plan for us and he needed that empty glass to get us to where we are supposed to be.

Someone once told me, you choose your attitude every single day.  How true this is.  I'm driving to work in the snow and someone ends up bumping into me at a traffic light.  I can curse the fates that make me late for work, wet and cold with a messed up bumper.  Or I can praise God and be thankful to him for bringing me through the ordeal with nothing more than a messed up bumper.

I stayed home with my children for a year and a half.  It was a wonderful, fulfilling experience but we wanted to save more and start a college fund.  So I went back to work with a heavy heart.  The very FIRST day that I am back to work, my husband loses his job.  I can (and did for a while) curse the fates that put us through financial stress and uncertainty and forced us to move many hours from our family for his new job.  Or I can praise God for taking us on the journey that we needed to take.  Be thankful that I HAD a job with benefits at the very time that my family needed it.  Be thankful that the move far from our family also brought our little family closer together.  Be thankful that my new job was flexible enough to let me work from a remote location.  Be thankful that that little piece of bad luck brought us back to our awareness of the higher being and HIS plans for us.  Be thankful that the move also brought us our younger son. :)

Personally, I decide to believe the best.  I think I have great luck. I feel grateful and blessed for what I have.  However, I was raised as a good Girl Scout.  So when I think of the glass half full or half empty question, I like to believe I am a glass half full person, with a contingency plan.  I do spend some time thinking of what may go wrong.  I have tried to learn from my elders, family, friends and history about the bad things that could happen.  I have a vague awareness and plan in my head for how I will react or handle it if these things come to fruition.  And then I choose to believe that the best will happen.

Every day I endeavor to choose a positive attitude.  Yes, I sometimes have to do repetitive work that is not challenging me in the way I would wish.   Yes, I sometimes have to clean up spilt milk or vomit or a really bad diaper and sometimes I need to do these things within 5 minutes of leaving for work!  Yes, I sometimes have my car or home need repair.  My basement has flooded.  My finances have been very ugly at times.   Life has handed me many lemons.  And sometimes I can make lemonade. And sometimes I just end up sour.

Of course, all of the above "bad luck" does not compare to losing a loved one.  Losing a spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, child... these things I cannot explain.  There is a higher power at work who I trust is caring for those we have lost.  There is a higher power keeping them safe until it's our turn to join them.

Sometimes we cannot help our sadness, depression, anger, frustration, or crankiness. Sometimes we have to sit and wallow in it and let it out.  Sometimes we may spend days, weeks or months trying to dig ourselves out.  And that's ok. That's necessary and unavoidable.  But when you've gone to that dark place, keep the light in your minds eye. Remember that you are taking this journey for a reason. I don't know the reason and frankly sometimes I can't imagine any reason worth the pain.

But, I hope and pray and trust that you will come out of this on the other side with a new appreciation for what's most important in your life.  I hope that you will spend time thinking about your bucket list and making it happen.  And I hope and pray and trust that you will believe the best, positive, optimistic fate that you can for your life.  Because we each have a story that's been written. And they can all be happily ever after.  We just need to work toward our goals as best we can, adjust our expectations and spin it positive for ourselves.  Life is short. Why spend it miserable?  Determine to be happy. Make it happen. It's a new day with new opportunities.  It starts now.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.