What's perfect anyway?

I'm having one of those weeks where I question the expectations I have set for myself and the expectations others have for me.  I'm wondering why can't I seem to do it all? Why is something always lacking? Why do I need to sleep anyway??

I admit that I sometimes enjoy a historical romance novel.  Its pleasant, its normally easy on the emotions and its going to have a happy ending.   I admit that I enjoy losing myself in the somewhat trivial entertainment of a love story fraught with dilemmas of love or circumstances or intrigue.  At the end of the novels, I frequently spend a few moments thinking how wonderful their lives must have been.  How wonderful to just be responsible for a home and my children. How wonderful to have a husband home most of the time and servants to help.  How wonderful to have all that time for passion and tea and cakes.

I then wonder why I have no time for tea and cake? Why do I have little energy for passion? Why do I not go visiting and have time to read in a nook in the library? Then again, why don't I have a LIBRARY? :)

The simple answer is real life.  I have children who need time and attention. I have a house that constantly needs straightening or sweeping or such. I have a job that requires my time. I have volunteer activities that require time and energy.  I have a family to feed, and they want to eat 3 meals and 2+ snacks a day!

Since I am lucky, I have family members to help me clean and care for my children while I am at work.  I don't know how I would truly tackle that mountain of laundry without them there to do some during the week!  Then again, having my kids in my home all the time makes a bit more dirtiness than if they went somewhere... But I recognize the good fortune to have the extra help.

I view life as a big juggling act.  I spend my days juggling work, kids, husband, home, etc and trying to keep all of my "balls" of responsibility in the air.   As with all juggling, sometimes things fall down.  Sometimes certain items are up highest and other items are near the ground. The juggling act requires total concentration and focus.  How am I going to fit everything into my day? When can I mail this? Who will get the dry cleaning / child / groceries / dogs?  What's for dinner?  What homework do the kids need to do? What's for lunch tomorrow? When or how will I do this work project or that one?  On and on it goes.

I'd like to tell you that I have this all figured out.  Unfortunately I'm still on my journey of self discovery and organization!  So feel free to leave me your tips in the comments.  The best I can tell you is I'm not perfect.  I do my best and that's good enough.  Prioritization is key.  What HAS to be done? What can wait?

My other piece of advice is to prioritize time for relaxing and enjoying life.  Its not easy!  But we need to dedicate some time each day to turning your brain off and being in the moment.  We work to LIVE. We don't LIVE TO WORK.  We have children and partners and friends to enrich our lives, and make the overall experience a better, happier one.  If we're constantly cleaning (like we probably would HAVE to be in order to be "perfect") then we're missing out on the good stuff.  We're missing out on playing that game of Candyland or reading that story. We're missing out on laughing with our partner at a movie or show.  We're missing out on good books and cuddles and the like.  It's not worth it.  After all, wasn't it Jesus who told Martha not to chastise her "lazy" sister Mary, as she was spending time hearing his message while Martha was cooking?  Of course someone has to cook or it won't get done! But that's a whole other post for another day.

For me, perfection isn't the goal.  Decent is the goal, with very occasional perfect moments in there.  Once a year for happy kids and husband, clean and organized house, stocked pantry and a beautiful put together me will have to do.  Because the other 364 (or this year 365) days I'm going to be enjoying the moment.  Cleaning what needs to be cleaned, organized what needs to be organized to keep me sane.  And spending the extra moments with my kids and my husband, my parents and my friends and trying to get all I can out of life.

I can learn tricks and time-saving tips and I can improve and grow.  I can find systems that work to get my house reasonable and my life organized.  I can do what I can until 9pm and then commit to sitting down and relaxing for the rest of the evening.  Let's face it, that laundry or bathroom or kitchen sink is going to be there tomorrow and most of the rest of our lives!  But our kids are only little once. And every day we and they are getting older.  Every day is a day we don't get back!  I won't waste it.  I will do what has to be done and I will find that good enough.