1. When you can power clean your house in 2-3 hours on a weekend (or evening or holiday) because you can't waste more time that that.
2. When your crockpot is your best friend.
3. When you have to hide (and sneak to the bathroom!) to actually get work done at home, so the kids believe you've gone to work and will leave you alone.
4. When you typically spend at least a few minutes of your lunch break planning something else (meal plan, grocery list, birthday party, calendar etc).
5. When you only have one speed, and that speed is RUSH.
6. When you can dry your hair, entertain your baby, and eat breakfast all at the same time.
7. When you reach into your purse for a pen during a meeting and pull out a toy car, play phone, golf ball (!)...
8. When Your dogs go crazy as soon as you put on your sneakers because it MUST mean they are going for a walk. Mom doesn't wear sneakers for anything else. ;)
9. When you keep your dress shoes at work (to save your feet) and thus have nothing appropriate to wear for special occasions on the weekend.
10. When your most common phrase to the doctor's office is, "Do you have anything early in the morning or late in the evening?"
11. When a good part of your life revolves around keeping your calendar updated and accurate, so that you can fit everything in.
12. When your able to successfully ask sacrifices of your husband just by uttering the phrase, "I WORK TOO!"
13. When you find it perfectly natural to be cleaning breast pump parts in the ladies restroom, using hand soap and paper towels.
14. When you store your breast milk in the public refrigerator.
15. When you have at least once, had to have an awkward conversation with your (male) boss about your time spent pumping.
16. When you've taken a conference call, in the mothers room, WHILE pumping.
17. When you won't even entertain the idea of working for a company that doesn't have flexible work options.
18. When you've done work from home on many occasions after the kids are in bed or before they wake up, so you can "do it all"
19. When YOU are the go-to person in the office anyone who needs a bandaid, tylenol, antacid, feminine product, toy car, golf ball etc
20. When you pretty much are never expected to drive your coworkers to lunch, because your car has car seats, sticky seat belts, random goldfish, crayons and toys all over.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Homemade Vegetable Soup
I watched a random Rachel Ray episode in late fall or early winter, that was directions for making a spur of the moment vegetable soup with whatever veggies you have on hand. The premise of this struck me - I can experiment with making soups! I kind of enjoy having recipes. It's a predictable outcome if you follow directions :) But I have tried the soup idea a few times and I always enjoy my result so I think I'll share with you. Maybe you will feel inspired to give it a shot and adjust it to your tastes.
I begin with a little oil in the bottom of my heavy soup pan. I heat the oil over medium heat.
Add
2-3 cloves of garlic (I love garlic but not everyone does so if you don't maybe stay on the lower end of this one).
a few shakes of crushed red pepper (to give it a little zing and clear out your nose if you have a cold)
Heat for a few minutes until the garlic "speaks" in the oil (sizzles)
Add a chopped onion and cook until onion becomes translucent.
From here - it's really your own tastes.
Personally I like:
A can of diced tomatoes
sliced and peeled carrots (about 2)
sliced celery (about 2 stalks)
about 2 cups of chicken broth or more to your taste
a few shakes of dried basil
a shake of black pepper
I let this simmer for about 10-15 minutes on medium-low.
Then I add:
sliced and peeled zucchini (1 big or two smaller)
maybe some frozen or canned green beans or any other veggies you like :)
Cook for another 5-10 minutes, taste testing and adjusting the flavors as needed.
Yesterday I made the above soup and cooked some small frozen tortellini in there with the zucchini step. The tortellini adds something special and makes this a stand-alone meal. I also cheated yesterday and used the canned carrots to speed up the whole process. It still tastes good to me!
You can add white beans, Broccoli, cauliflower or any other veggies you like. To make this all vegetarian, you could use vegetable broth in place of the chicken broth. Take the plunge and experiment! It's worth it to have a homemade veggie soup. Enjoy
Monday, June 11, 2012
Chore Charts
I've recently implemented a chore chart in our household to try to keep the kids accountable, and also bring some order to the chaos. It seems lots of people have interest in chore charts so here's mine :)
Note - all the clipart was randomly found on the Internet or part of my excel program. Please use for personal use only.
I was attempting to upload the excel version of the file so you could use it as a template... but I can't seem to. So if you need it, leave me a comment with your email address (I suggest using a phonetic version of your email to avoid spam like "susie at yahoo dot com") and I can find a way to email to you. :)
Here's an attempt to paste the table, in a format you can hopefully copy!
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B8rZrAJUjsvVSUc2YmNiOWZlUVU
Note - all the clipart was randomly found on the Internet or part of my excel program. Please use for personal use only.
I was attempting to upload the excel version of the file so you could use it as a template... but I can't seem to. So if you need it, leave me a comment with your email address (I suggest using a phonetic version of your email to avoid spam like "susie at yahoo dot com") and I can find a way to email to you. :)
Here's an attempt to paste the table, in a format you can hopefully copy!
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B8rZrAJUjsvVSUc2YmNiOWZlUVU
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Hamburger Tater Tot Casserole
I'm sorry I've been missing in action lately. Life got away from me and I did take a wonderful trip with my husband as well :)
I'm seeking comfort lately, and this week I'm not worried about carbs or calories :). So here's another old standby recipe. In my opinion, this SHOULD work better than it does for getting kids to eat veggies. My mother never mixed my veggies with cheese and hamburger or there would have been way fewer dinner time battles! :) Instead I was forced to eat things like beef stroganoff (WITH mushrooms) and the like. Apparently I'm just too nice of a mom in terms of my cooking. So my kids don't appreciate really yummy recipes like this. There's a lesson there I guess. Unfortunately my middle son won't eat this because he doesn't like tater tots (or veggies LOL). The younger son will usually eat most of it and my oldest daughter, husband and I clear our plates and get seconds. YUM.
Hamburger Tater Tot Casserole
2lbs ground beef
onion powder, garlic powder to taste (~ 1tsp)
salt & pepper to taste
2 cans of Campbells Cheddar cheese soup
a bag of frozen mixed vegetables
a bag of frozen tater tots
Brown the hamburger and season with onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste. You may also add chopped onion if you wish - we aren't big onion people so we don't add it. Drain the excess fat. Spray a 9 x 13 casserole dish with non stick spray. Layer hamburger, veggies, and soup and stir lightly together to combine. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Top with tater tots and bake at 350 for additional 45 minutes or everything is melted / bubbly and the tater tots look lightly browned. I like to make this recipe a few hours ahead and keep in the fridge until it's time to bake for dinner. It will usually cook in 45 minutes or less coming from the fridge instead of the freezer. Leftovers are equally satisfying :)
I'm seeking comfort lately, and this week I'm not worried about carbs or calories :). So here's another old standby recipe. In my opinion, this SHOULD work better than it does for getting kids to eat veggies. My mother never mixed my veggies with cheese and hamburger or there would have been way fewer dinner time battles! :) Instead I was forced to eat things like beef stroganoff (WITH mushrooms) and the like. Apparently I'm just too nice of a mom in terms of my cooking. So my kids don't appreciate really yummy recipes like this. There's a lesson there I guess. Unfortunately my middle son won't eat this because he doesn't like tater tots (or veggies LOL). The younger son will usually eat most of it and my oldest daughter, husband and I clear our plates and get seconds. YUM.
Hamburger Tater Tot Casserole
2lbs ground beef
onion powder, garlic powder to taste (~ 1tsp)
salt & pepper to taste
2 cans of Campbells Cheddar cheese soup
a bag of frozen mixed vegetables
a bag of frozen tater tots
Brown the hamburger and season with onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste. You may also add chopped onion if you wish - we aren't big onion people so we don't add it. Drain the excess fat. Spray a 9 x 13 casserole dish with non stick spray. Layer hamburger, veggies, and soup and stir lightly together to combine. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Top with tater tots and bake at 350 for additional 45 minutes or everything is melted / bubbly and the tater tots look lightly browned. I like to make this recipe a few hours ahead and keep in the fridge until it's time to bake for dinner. It will usually cook in 45 minutes or less coming from the fridge instead of the freezer. Leftovers are equally satisfying :)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Hope, life, love and sweet baby cuteness
I went with my girls to visit my sister and her family this past weekend. My sister was 38 weeks pregnant and my young neice is just under 2 years old. Add in me and my two girls and you have a recipe for chaos :). Fortunately the weekend moved smoothly. I was impressed with how well my neice and baby daughter got along. They are only 1 year apart but I guess I expected a bigger gap in their interests and abilities. It was so fun and exciting to see them fascinated with each other. I took them for a walk in the 'new to them' double stroller and my neice was patting the baby's head and telling her, It's ok baby. Adorable. My older daughter was patient and fun for the two younger girls. I had special time with each. Happy mommy / aunt weekend. My older daughter even told me it was fun - score!
My sister is wonderful. Caring, loving, smart, a great companion and my oldest and best friend. Yet any woman at 9 months pregnant, is bound to be slightly cranky, haha. We did not fight or get upset but I'm sure we each had our moments. Nevertheless, I left for the airport on Monday wishing we lived closer and could spend more time together. I especially wished that our children could play more regularly as I remember my cousins and I did.
Monday afternoon brought news that my sister's blood pressure was too high and she was to be induced the following morning. The next 12 hours were fraught with anxiety, information gathering, and yes, prayer. Thankfully the labor was relatively uneventful and baby nephew arrived safely. He is absolutely adorable; tiny and perfect.
As I gaze at his picture, I am reminded of the hope, joy and love that such new life brings. Tiny babies are a blessing and a wake up call rolled up into one. This tiny person will learn everything from scratch. We (the community or the parents) are influencing how he views the world. As parents, this concept is not new. We know we have tremendous responsibility and influence to the little people. And we bemoan the fact that we no longer have such influence during those wonderful teenage years. And of course we worry at least a little about how our actions will appear to the therapist some day!
Yet my message today is for the community. Teachers, coaches, neighbors, family, friends, grocery store clerk, photographer, bus driver, policeman, fireman, professional athlete, nurse, doctor, dentist, stranger on the street, stranger waiting behind us in a long line, stranger on the airplane... you have influence too! This tiny boy (and all the kids really) are watching you. They see how you say please or thank you (or how you don't). They hear your tone and learn to read your body language. They see how we interact with each other and with them. They are looking to us to learn what's right and what's wrong; what's good and what's bad; what's success and what's failure.
So I respectfully ask you to use this influence for the benefit of the child and the world. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Smile at that small baby on the plane, even if you may be having a less relaxing flight than you hoped. Give a word of encouragement to that mother or father dealing with a temper tantrum. Or at least walk away before criticizing their choices. Be polite to people as much as you can. Use decent language, or at least bad language quietly ;). Remember who's watching and learning so often, even when you aren't aware.
I for one, would like to leave our children in a better place than I had. I want them to be BETTER than me. Common decency and respect for each other is something we do have to practice, in order to teach. This generation is growing up in a vastly different world than we did. But they are our hope and our future. They may grow to be the next president, CEO, church pastor, healer, scientist, bus driver. We need them to care about the world, themselves and each other.
"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be."
Whitney Houston, The Greatest Love of All lyrics
My sister is wonderful. Caring, loving, smart, a great companion and my oldest and best friend. Yet any woman at 9 months pregnant, is bound to be slightly cranky, haha. We did not fight or get upset but I'm sure we each had our moments. Nevertheless, I left for the airport on Monday wishing we lived closer and could spend more time together. I especially wished that our children could play more regularly as I remember my cousins and I did.
Monday afternoon brought news that my sister's blood pressure was too high and she was to be induced the following morning. The next 12 hours were fraught with anxiety, information gathering, and yes, prayer. Thankfully the labor was relatively uneventful and baby nephew arrived safely. He is absolutely adorable; tiny and perfect.
As I gaze at his picture, I am reminded of the hope, joy and love that such new life brings. Tiny babies are a blessing and a wake up call rolled up into one. This tiny person will learn everything from scratch. We (the community or the parents) are influencing how he views the world. As parents, this concept is not new. We know we have tremendous responsibility and influence to the little people. And we bemoan the fact that we no longer have such influence during those wonderful teenage years. And of course we worry at least a little about how our actions will appear to the therapist some day!
Yet my message today is for the community. Teachers, coaches, neighbors, family, friends, grocery store clerk, photographer, bus driver, policeman, fireman, professional athlete, nurse, doctor, dentist, stranger on the street, stranger waiting behind us in a long line, stranger on the airplane... you have influence too! This tiny boy (and all the kids really) are watching you. They see how you say please or thank you (or how you don't). They hear your tone and learn to read your body language. They see how we interact with each other and with them. They are looking to us to learn what's right and what's wrong; what's good and what's bad; what's success and what's failure.
So I respectfully ask you to use this influence for the benefit of the child and the world. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Smile at that small baby on the plane, even if you may be having a less relaxing flight than you hoped. Give a word of encouragement to that mother or father dealing with a temper tantrum. Or at least walk away before criticizing their choices. Be polite to people as much as you can. Use decent language, or at least bad language quietly ;). Remember who's watching and learning so often, even when you aren't aware.
I for one, would like to leave our children in a better place than I had. I want them to be BETTER than me. Common decency and respect for each other is something we do have to practice, in order to teach. This generation is growing up in a vastly different world than we did. But they are our hope and our future. They may grow to be the next president, CEO, church pastor, healer, scientist, bus driver. We need them to care about the world, themselves and each other.
"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be."
Whitney Houston, The Greatest Love of All lyrics
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Dijon Chicken - another low carb meal idea
Another low carb dinner - suitable for induction period of Atkins or the first two weeks of South Beach or anytime you want to reduce carbohydrates!
Dijon Chicken
One of my personal favorites and super simple and rather fast.
4 Chicken breasts, cut in half lengthwise and opened up to cook quickly
8 slices of Canadian bacon or ham
4 slices of the cheese of your choice (I like Swiss best but my kids eat American better. It works w/ cheddar too!)
Dijon butter sauce
3/4 cup of light (or regular) butter
1-2 tbsp of dijon mustard (to taste - I use 2 because I like it stronger)
Spray a broiler pan with cooking spray. Salt and pepper your chicken lightly and put on the broiler pan under the broiler for approximately 5-7 minutes on each side or until cooked through.
While the chicken is cooking, melt butter in a small saucepan. Once butter is completely melted, mix in the dijon mustard to taste.
When the chicken looks like it's cooked through, add the two slices of canadian bacon or ham and top with a slice of cheese. Broil for an additional 1-2 minutes or until cheese is melted. Remove from heat.
Serve with dijon butter sauce! Yum. Approximately 3 net carbs per serving. Serve with other low carb veggies such as cauliflower, some asparagus, a little broccoli or as much salad (lettuce and cucumbers and celery) as you like. Watch your dressings! Some dressings with low carbs are caesar, oil and vinegar, blue cheese and certain brands of ranch.
Dijon Chicken
One of my personal favorites and super simple and rather fast.
4 Chicken breasts, cut in half lengthwise and opened up to cook quickly
8 slices of Canadian bacon or ham
4 slices of the cheese of your choice (I like Swiss best but my kids eat American better. It works w/ cheddar too!)
Dijon butter sauce
3/4 cup of light (or regular) butter
1-2 tbsp of dijon mustard (to taste - I use 2 because I like it stronger)
Spray a broiler pan with cooking spray. Salt and pepper your chicken lightly and put on the broiler pan under the broiler for approximately 5-7 minutes on each side or until cooked through.
While the chicken is cooking, melt butter in a small saucepan. Once butter is completely melted, mix in the dijon mustard to taste.
When the chicken looks like it's cooked through, add the two slices of canadian bacon or ham and top with a slice of cheese. Broil for an additional 1-2 minutes or until cheese is melted. Remove from heat.
Serve with dijon butter sauce! Yum. Approximately 3 net carbs per serving. Serve with other low carb veggies such as cauliflower, some asparagus, a little broccoli or as much salad (lettuce and cucumbers and celery) as you like. Watch your dressings! Some dressings with low carbs are caesar, oil and vinegar, blue cheese and certain brands of ranch.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Blue Cheese Steak Butter - part of my Spring Low Carb Journey
I'm beginning another low carb journey, specifically attempting to follow an Atkins Induction / South Beach Phase 1 type diet for the next two weeks followed by healthy lower carb lifestyle thereafter. Specifically I'm going to try to avoid all baked good for the next 6 weeks. I need to lose about 15lbs immediately since my clothes are all tight and I'm going on vacation in 6 weeks! Ideally I'd like to drop more like 25lbs by year end. We'll see how it goes! This is mostly baby weight, but I've been somewhat lazy what with the holidays and Girl Scout cookie season...
On that note, I will likely be posting low carb recipes over the next few weeks. Sorry to the carb lovers out there. I'm sad too! But truly it has to be done ;)
First I'm so excited about this recipe. I hope and expect it will be yummy!
Blue Cheese Steak Butter
1/2 lb blue cheese, crumbled
3/4 cup butter, softened
2 garlic gloves, crushed
1 tbsp spicy brown mustard
a dash of tabasco
Combine in a food processor until smooth. Serve warm over steak.
On that note, I will likely be posting low carb recipes over the next few weeks. Sorry to the carb lovers out there. I'm sad too! But truly it has to be done ;)
First I'm so excited about this recipe. I hope and expect it will be yummy!
Blue Cheese Steak Butter
1/2 lb blue cheese, crumbled
3/4 cup butter, softened
2 garlic gloves, crushed
1 tbsp spicy brown mustard
a dash of tabasco
Combine in a food processor until smooth. Serve warm over steak.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
What's perfect anyway?
I'm having one of those weeks where I question the expectations I have set for myself and the expectations others have for me. I'm wondering why can't I seem to do it all? Why is something always lacking? Why do I need to sleep anyway??
I admit that I sometimes enjoy a historical romance novel. Its pleasant, its normally easy on the emotions and its going to have a happy ending. I admit that I enjoy losing myself in the somewhat trivial entertainment of a love story fraught with dilemmas of love or circumstances or intrigue. At the end of the novels, I frequently spend a few moments thinking how wonderful their lives must have been. How wonderful to just be responsible for a home and my children. How wonderful to have a husband home most of the time and servants to help. How wonderful to have all that time for passion and tea and cakes.
I then wonder why I have no time for tea and cake? Why do I have little energy for passion? Why do I not go visiting and have time to read in a nook in the library? Then again, why don't I have a LIBRARY? :)
The simple answer is real life. I have children who need time and attention. I have a house that constantly needs straightening or sweeping or such. I have a job that requires my time. I have volunteer activities that require time and energy. I have a family to feed, and they want to eat 3 meals and 2+ snacks a day!
Since I am lucky, I have family members to help me clean and care for my children while I am at work. I don't know how I would truly tackle that mountain of laundry without them there to do some during the week! Then again, having my kids in my home all the time makes a bit more dirtiness than if they went somewhere... But I recognize the good fortune to have the extra help.
I view life as a big juggling act. I spend my days juggling work, kids, husband, home, etc and trying to keep all of my "balls" of responsibility in the air. As with all juggling, sometimes things fall down. Sometimes certain items are up highest and other items are near the ground. The juggling act requires total concentration and focus. How am I going to fit everything into my day? When can I mail this? Who will get the dry cleaning / child / groceries / dogs? What's for dinner? What homework do the kids need to do? What's for lunch tomorrow? When or how will I do this work project or that one? On and on it goes.
I'd like to tell you that I have this all figured out. Unfortunately I'm still on my journey of self discovery and organization! So feel free to leave me your tips in the comments. The best I can tell you is I'm not perfect. I do my best and that's good enough. Prioritization is key. What HAS to be done? What can wait?
My other piece of advice is to prioritize time for relaxing and enjoying life. Its not easy! But we need to dedicate some time each day to turning your brain off and being in the moment. We work to LIVE. We don't LIVE TO WORK. We have children and partners and friends to enrich our lives, and make the overall experience a better, happier one. If we're constantly cleaning (like we probably would HAVE to be in order to be "perfect") then we're missing out on the good stuff. We're missing out on playing that game of Candyland or reading that story. We're missing out on laughing with our partner at a movie or show. We're missing out on good books and cuddles and the like. It's not worth it. After all, wasn't it Jesus who told Martha not to chastise her "lazy" sister Mary, as she was spending time hearing his message while Martha was cooking? Of course someone has to cook or it won't get done! But that's a whole other post for another day.
For me, perfection isn't the goal. Decent is the goal, with very occasional perfect moments in there. Once a year for happy kids and husband, clean and organized house, stocked pantry and a beautiful put together me will have to do. Because the other 364 (or this year 365) days I'm going to be enjoying the moment. Cleaning what needs to be cleaned, organized what needs to be organized to keep me sane. And spending the extra moments with my kids and my husband, my parents and my friends and trying to get all I can out of life.
I can learn tricks and time-saving tips and I can improve and grow. I can find systems that work to get my house reasonable and my life organized. I can do what I can until 9pm and then commit to sitting down and relaxing for the rest of the evening. Let's face it, that laundry or bathroom or kitchen sink is going to be there tomorrow and most of the rest of our lives! But our kids are only little once. And every day we and they are getting older. Every day is a day we don't get back! I won't waste it. I will do what has to be done and I will find that good enough.
I admit that I sometimes enjoy a historical romance novel. Its pleasant, its normally easy on the emotions and its going to have a happy ending. I admit that I enjoy losing myself in the somewhat trivial entertainment of a love story fraught with dilemmas of love or circumstances or intrigue. At the end of the novels, I frequently spend a few moments thinking how wonderful their lives must have been. How wonderful to just be responsible for a home and my children. How wonderful to have a husband home most of the time and servants to help. How wonderful to have all that time for passion and tea and cakes.
I then wonder why I have no time for tea and cake? Why do I have little energy for passion? Why do I not go visiting and have time to read in a nook in the library? Then again, why don't I have a LIBRARY? :)
The simple answer is real life. I have children who need time and attention. I have a house that constantly needs straightening or sweeping or such. I have a job that requires my time. I have volunteer activities that require time and energy. I have a family to feed, and they want to eat 3 meals and 2+ snacks a day!
Since I am lucky, I have family members to help me clean and care for my children while I am at work. I don't know how I would truly tackle that mountain of laundry without them there to do some during the week! Then again, having my kids in my home all the time makes a bit more dirtiness than if they went somewhere... But I recognize the good fortune to have the extra help.
I view life as a big juggling act. I spend my days juggling work, kids, husband, home, etc and trying to keep all of my "balls" of responsibility in the air. As with all juggling, sometimes things fall down. Sometimes certain items are up highest and other items are near the ground. The juggling act requires total concentration and focus. How am I going to fit everything into my day? When can I mail this? Who will get the dry cleaning / child / groceries / dogs? What's for dinner? What homework do the kids need to do? What's for lunch tomorrow? When or how will I do this work project or that one? On and on it goes.
I'd like to tell you that I have this all figured out. Unfortunately I'm still on my journey of self discovery and organization! So feel free to leave me your tips in the comments. The best I can tell you is I'm not perfect. I do my best and that's good enough. Prioritization is key. What HAS to be done? What can wait?
My other piece of advice is to prioritize time for relaxing and enjoying life. Its not easy! But we need to dedicate some time each day to turning your brain off and being in the moment. We work to LIVE. We don't LIVE TO WORK. We have children and partners and friends to enrich our lives, and make the overall experience a better, happier one. If we're constantly cleaning (like we probably would HAVE to be in order to be "perfect") then we're missing out on the good stuff. We're missing out on playing that game of Candyland or reading that story. We're missing out on laughing with our partner at a movie or show. We're missing out on good books and cuddles and the like. It's not worth it. After all, wasn't it Jesus who told Martha not to chastise her "lazy" sister Mary, as she was spending time hearing his message while Martha was cooking? Of course someone has to cook or it won't get done! But that's a whole other post for another day.
For me, perfection isn't the goal. Decent is the goal, with very occasional perfect moments in there. Once a year for happy kids and husband, clean and organized house, stocked pantry and a beautiful put together me will have to do. Because the other 364 (or this year 365) days I'm going to be enjoying the moment. Cleaning what needs to be cleaned, organized what needs to be organized to keep me sane. And spending the extra moments with my kids and my husband, my parents and my friends and trying to get all I can out of life.
I can learn tricks and time-saving tips and I can improve and grow. I can find systems that work to get my house reasonable and my life organized. I can do what I can until 9pm and then commit to sitting down and relaxing for the rest of the evening. Let's face it, that laundry or bathroom or kitchen sink is going to be there tomorrow and most of the rest of our lives! But our kids are only little once. And every day we and they are getting older. Every day is a day we don't get back! I won't waste it. I will do what has to be done and I will find that good enough.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Being 3 years old is tough
The treacherous threes. The terrifying threes. The TANTRUM threes. Call it what you will, the 3rd year of life can be tricky and tiring for a parent. My younger son is in this stage now. He's having mood swings like a teenager. He's throwing tantrums like a 2 year old. And, he's trying out all kinds of new ways to deliberately cause trouble. Like peeing on the floor when he's mad. Crying and whining when he doesn't get his way. Defiantly doing that thing anyway because he's "big" and he can.
I'd love to tell you that I have a degree in child psychology and I know exactly what's going through my son's head during these times. But sadly, I do not. I'm just a mom who has been through this 2 other times, is in the middle of it now, has one more to go and mostly pays attention. So I can tell you with certainty that this too shall pass.
Right now, the three year old is testing the limits. Seeing how much he or she can play the cute factor to get you to cave on what they want. They are testing to see what kind of behavior is effective in getting what they want. They are continuing to discover that they HAVE wants or needs of their own and that they can speak up and assert themselves. They are finding their own small power and independence in a frustrating world where they have Mom or Dad choosing clothing, meals, bath times, bed times, preschool, toys etc. They are battling their own tendency to want to be babied and special while still being independent. They are finding that adults have stronger expectations of their behavior and new rules and new punishments for not following the rules. All in all, it's a tough year for the three year old too.
The three year old will eventually have a better understanding of how the world (and rules!) work. If you've persisted in being a parent, the three year old will also have learned that actions have consequences. That they do have control over their own lives to some extent (you can choose to eat this dinner, or you can eat nothing... you can get dressed by yourself or mommy will dress you... do you want cereal or toast for breakfast?). The options aren't always acceptable or what that three year old is hoping to get. But they do have options and sometimes a parent is successful in spinning things so that both parties are happy or satisfied. Then again there will be times when the three year old tantrums threaten to drive you to drink... and so you distract the children with something fool proof like play dough, a yummy snack, or even the old reliable television. You give yourself a mommy or daddy time out and hide in the bathroom / garage / your bedroom for a few minutes... sometimes with screams into pillows. And sometimes with tears. And sometimes with absolutely no idea of how you are going to get through this.
There is hope, Parents! Use your mommy or daddy time out to take a few deep breaths (or whatever else works to let out your frustration). Perhaps count to 10 in your head. Perhaps count to 1000. And then head back out into the fray. Do your best to be calm and collected. Do your very best to stay firm as much as you can. Give your child some straight forward choices and allow them some empowerment so that they can save face! Even children like to save face sometimes :) But if they are NOT having a donut for dinner, then they cannot have the donut, period. They have to eat their dinner come crying, screaming, kicking, throwing, stomping, slamming, sudden sweet cute faces or even high water. But watch out for high water - I've had my kitchen flooded before and it's not pretty. Of course, it's a good excuse to have "Kids Mop the Kitchen" day...
And on those really bad days? Remind yourself that this is good practice for when you have teenagers. Only I'm convinced that will be worse! But there is hope for some calm and peaceful moments in between. :) And there's copious amounts of alcohol too.
I'd love to tell you that I have a degree in child psychology and I know exactly what's going through my son's head during these times. But sadly, I do not. I'm just a mom who has been through this 2 other times, is in the middle of it now, has one more to go and mostly pays attention. So I can tell you with certainty that this too shall pass.
Right now, the three year old is testing the limits. Seeing how much he or she can play the cute factor to get you to cave on what they want. They are testing to see what kind of behavior is effective in getting what they want. They are continuing to discover that they HAVE wants or needs of their own and that they can speak up and assert themselves. They are finding their own small power and independence in a frustrating world where they have Mom or Dad choosing clothing, meals, bath times, bed times, preschool, toys etc. They are battling their own tendency to want to be babied and special while still being independent. They are finding that adults have stronger expectations of their behavior and new rules and new punishments for not following the rules. All in all, it's a tough year for the three year old too.
The three year old will eventually have a better understanding of how the world (and rules!) work. If you've persisted in being a parent, the three year old will also have learned that actions have consequences. That they do have control over their own lives to some extent (you can choose to eat this dinner, or you can eat nothing... you can get dressed by yourself or mommy will dress you... do you want cereal or toast for breakfast?). The options aren't always acceptable or what that three year old is hoping to get. But they do have options and sometimes a parent is successful in spinning things so that both parties are happy or satisfied. Then again there will be times when the three year old tantrums threaten to drive you to drink... and so you distract the children with something fool proof like play dough, a yummy snack, or even the old reliable television. You give yourself a mommy or daddy time out and hide in the bathroom / garage / your bedroom for a few minutes... sometimes with screams into pillows. And sometimes with tears. And sometimes with absolutely no idea of how you are going to get through this.
There is hope, Parents! Use your mommy or daddy time out to take a few deep breaths (or whatever else works to let out your frustration). Perhaps count to 10 in your head. Perhaps count to 1000. And then head back out into the fray. Do your best to be calm and collected. Do your very best to stay firm as much as you can. Give your child some straight forward choices and allow them some empowerment so that they can save face! Even children like to save face sometimes :) But if they are NOT having a donut for dinner, then they cannot have the donut, period. They have to eat their dinner come crying, screaming, kicking, throwing, stomping, slamming, sudden sweet cute faces or even high water. But watch out for high water - I've had my kitchen flooded before and it's not pretty. Of course, it's a good excuse to have "Kids Mop the Kitchen" day...
And on those really bad days? Remind yourself that this is good practice for when you have teenagers. Only I'm convinced that will be worse! But there is hope for some calm and peaceful moments in between. :) And there's copious amounts of alcohol too.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Simple Crockpot Roast
I love roast beef. Even better, I love roast beef sandwiches which are so yummy and must faster to prep in the morning. Plus its such and indulgence to have white rolls when all we ever eat is wheat! ;) Either way, the basic recipe is the same:
One round roast or roast of your choice (approx 3-4lbs)
One package Lipton Onion soup mix
2-3 cups of beef broth (can also use water but it's better with the beef broth! :))
Stir together broth and soup mix and pour over the roast in your crockpot. Cook on low 6-8 hours. Slice the roast and serve on your roll of choice with the juice. Yum!
To create more of a traditional meal, add peeled and quartered potatoes, baby or regular carrots in chunks, onion or celery to your taste.
One round roast or roast of your choice (approx 3-4lbs)
One package Lipton Onion soup mix
2-3 cups of beef broth (can also use water but it's better with the beef broth! :))
Stir together broth and soup mix and pour over the roast in your crockpot. Cook on low 6-8 hours. Slice the roast and serve on your roll of choice with the juice. Yum!
To create more of a traditional meal, add peeled and quartered potatoes, baby or regular carrots in chunks, onion or celery to your taste.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
You choose your attitude every single day
Many of us have been raised to expect the fairytale. As women, we grew up with stories of the beautiful princess who finds her prince and lives happily ever after. And we fully expect that we'll end up with our prince, in a huge castle with servants to help us and beautiful, happy children.
The reality is often quite different. Life can be good, bad or ugly. Life is not fair. The good guys do not always win. The prince sometimes never comes, or is a pauper or a frog. The prince sometimes leaves. The job may only be a paycheck. The job may come with a crazy boss or long hours or little appreciation for our efforts.
So what is a woman to do? She has an image in her mind of how her life will be. That image is different for each of us but may include a clean and neat home, well behaved children, and a loving helpful spouse. Maybe she sees herself dressed fashionably with beautiful hair, make-up and body. Some days we will be living that dream. And some days, the dream will dissolve into a house that looks like a bomb went off, sick or cranky children and a spouse who is less than we hoped. And on those days, the mother is likely stressed out, extremely tired, perhaps sick herself, or otherwise less than the vision she had for herself. Some days a woman will wish she could run away and hide, or press a reset button. As a side note, I envision the reset button as something similar to the "sleep button" that would instantly put my children into a deep slumber when they are fighting bedtime at 9pm. In other words, the reset button is just a fantasy. It's not going to happen.
Many people raise the timeless question of whether the glass is half full or half empty. This is to prove the point that your ATTITUDE can determine whether you view something in a positive or negative light. That glass has the same amount of milk - but we decide if it's on its way up or down. Well I'm here to tell you, as much as we might wish or believe otherwise, that glass is going to be empty eventually. And when the glass is empty, we can mope around mourning the loss of our milk and thinking about where we went wrong and how unfair it is that the glass is empty. Or we can treat the empty glass as an opportunity. Now that our glass is empty, we are free to try something new and different. Maybe we try chocolate milk? Or wine? Maybe God has a plan for us and he needed that empty glass to get us to where we are supposed to be.
Someone once told me, you choose your attitude every single day. How true this is. I'm driving to work in the snow and someone ends up bumping into me at a traffic light. I can curse the fates that make me late for work, wet and cold with a messed up bumper. Or I can praise God and be thankful to him for bringing me through the ordeal with nothing more than a messed up bumper.
I stayed home with my children for a year and a half. It was a wonderful, fulfilling experience but we wanted to save more and start a college fund. So I went back to work with a heavy heart. The very FIRST day that I am back to work, my husband loses his job. I can (and did for a while) curse the fates that put us through financial stress and uncertainty and forced us to move many hours from our family for his new job. Or I can praise God for taking us on the journey that we needed to take. Be thankful that I HAD a job with benefits at the very time that my family needed it. Be thankful that the move far from our family also brought our little family closer together. Be thankful that my new job was flexible enough to let me work from a remote location. Be thankful that that little piece of bad luck brought us back to our awareness of the higher being and HIS plans for us. Be thankful that the move also brought us our younger son. :)
Personally, I decide to believe the best. I think I have great luck. I feel grateful and blessed for what I have. However, I was raised as a good Girl Scout. So when I think of the glass half full or half empty question, I like to believe I am a glass half full person, with a contingency plan. I do spend some time thinking of what may go wrong. I have tried to learn from my elders, family, friends and history about the bad things that could happen. I have a vague awareness and plan in my head for how I will react or handle it if these things come to fruition. And then I choose to believe that the best will happen.
Every day I endeavor to choose a positive attitude. Yes, I sometimes have to do repetitive work that is not challenging me in the way I would wish. Yes, I sometimes have to clean up spilt milk or vomit or a really bad diaper and sometimes I need to do these things within 5 minutes of leaving for work! Yes, I sometimes have my car or home need repair. My basement has flooded. My finances have been very ugly at times. Life has handed me many lemons. And sometimes I can make lemonade. And sometimes I just end up sour.
Of course, all of the above "bad luck" does not compare to losing a loved one. Losing a spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, child... these things I cannot explain. There is a higher power at work who I trust is caring for those we have lost. There is a higher power keeping them safe until it's our turn to join them.
Sometimes we cannot help our sadness, depression, anger, frustration, or crankiness. Sometimes we have to sit and wallow in it and let it out. Sometimes we may spend days, weeks or months trying to dig ourselves out. And that's ok. That's necessary and unavoidable. But when you've gone to that dark place, keep the light in your minds eye. Remember that you are taking this journey for a reason. I don't know the reason and frankly sometimes I can't imagine any reason worth the pain.
But, I hope and pray and trust that you will come out of this on the other side with a new appreciation for what's most important in your life. I hope that you will spend time thinking about your bucket list and making it happen. And I hope and pray and trust that you will believe the best, positive, optimistic fate that you can for your life. Because we each have a story that's been written. And they can all be happily ever after. We just need to work toward our goals as best we can, adjust our expectations and spin it positive for ourselves. Life is short. Why spend it miserable? Determine to be happy. Make it happen. It's a new day with new opportunities. It starts now.
The reality is often quite different. Life can be good, bad or ugly. Life is not fair. The good guys do not always win. The prince sometimes never comes, or is a pauper or a frog. The prince sometimes leaves. The job may only be a paycheck. The job may come with a crazy boss or long hours or little appreciation for our efforts.
So what is a woman to do? She has an image in her mind of how her life will be. That image is different for each of us but may include a clean and neat home, well behaved children, and a loving helpful spouse. Maybe she sees herself dressed fashionably with beautiful hair, make-up and body. Some days we will be living that dream. And some days, the dream will dissolve into a house that looks like a bomb went off, sick or cranky children and a spouse who is less than we hoped. And on those days, the mother is likely stressed out, extremely tired, perhaps sick herself, or otherwise less than the vision she had for herself. Some days a woman will wish she could run away and hide, or press a reset button. As a side note, I envision the reset button as something similar to the "sleep button" that would instantly put my children into a deep slumber when they are fighting bedtime at 9pm. In other words, the reset button is just a fantasy. It's not going to happen.
Many people raise the timeless question of whether the glass is half full or half empty. This is to prove the point that your ATTITUDE can determine whether you view something in a positive or negative light. That glass has the same amount of milk - but we decide if it's on its way up or down. Well I'm here to tell you, as much as we might wish or believe otherwise, that glass is going to be empty eventually. And when the glass is empty, we can mope around mourning the loss of our milk and thinking about where we went wrong and how unfair it is that the glass is empty. Or we can treat the empty glass as an opportunity. Now that our glass is empty, we are free to try something new and different. Maybe we try chocolate milk? Or wine? Maybe God has a plan for us and he needed that empty glass to get us to where we are supposed to be.
Someone once told me, you choose your attitude every single day. How true this is. I'm driving to work in the snow and someone ends up bumping into me at a traffic light. I can curse the fates that make me late for work, wet and cold with a messed up bumper. Or I can praise God and be thankful to him for bringing me through the ordeal with nothing more than a messed up bumper.
I stayed home with my children for a year and a half. It was a wonderful, fulfilling experience but we wanted to save more and start a college fund. So I went back to work with a heavy heart. The very FIRST day that I am back to work, my husband loses his job. I can (and did for a while) curse the fates that put us through financial stress and uncertainty and forced us to move many hours from our family for his new job. Or I can praise God for taking us on the journey that we needed to take. Be thankful that I HAD a job with benefits at the very time that my family needed it. Be thankful that the move far from our family also brought our little family closer together. Be thankful that my new job was flexible enough to let me work from a remote location. Be thankful that that little piece of bad luck brought us back to our awareness of the higher being and HIS plans for us. Be thankful that the move also brought us our younger son. :)
Personally, I decide to believe the best. I think I have great luck. I feel grateful and blessed for what I have. However, I was raised as a good Girl Scout. So when I think of the glass half full or half empty question, I like to believe I am a glass half full person, with a contingency plan. I do spend some time thinking of what may go wrong. I have tried to learn from my elders, family, friends and history about the bad things that could happen. I have a vague awareness and plan in my head for how I will react or handle it if these things come to fruition. And then I choose to believe that the best will happen.
Every day I endeavor to choose a positive attitude. Yes, I sometimes have to do repetitive work that is not challenging me in the way I would wish. Yes, I sometimes have to clean up spilt milk or vomit or a really bad diaper and sometimes I need to do these things within 5 minutes of leaving for work! Yes, I sometimes have my car or home need repair. My basement has flooded. My finances have been very ugly at times. Life has handed me many lemons. And sometimes I can make lemonade. And sometimes I just end up sour.
Of course, all of the above "bad luck" does not compare to losing a loved one. Losing a spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, child... these things I cannot explain. There is a higher power at work who I trust is caring for those we have lost. There is a higher power keeping them safe until it's our turn to join them.
Sometimes we cannot help our sadness, depression, anger, frustration, or crankiness. Sometimes we have to sit and wallow in it and let it out. Sometimes we may spend days, weeks or months trying to dig ourselves out. And that's ok. That's necessary and unavoidable. But when you've gone to that dark place, keep the light in your minds eye. Remember that you are taking this journey for a reason. I don't know the reason and frankly sometimes I can't imagine any reason worth the pain.
But, I hope and pray and trust that you will come out of this on the other side with a new appreciation for what's most important in your life. I hope that you will spend time thinking about your bucket list and making it happen. And I hope and pray and trust that you will believe the best, positive, optimistic fate that you can for your life. Because we each have a story that's been written. And they can all be happily ever after. We just need to work toward our goals as best we can, adjust our expectations and spin it positive for ourselves. Life is short. Why spend it miserable? Determine to be happy. Make it happen. It's a new day with new opportunities. It starts now.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Crockpot Baked Potato Soup
There are days or weeks (or let's face it, months!) where you just need comfort. What better place to find comfort than in a big, cheesy, bacon-y, smooth bowl of baked potato soup? After all, bacon really does make everything better! I love my potato soup smooth and creamy so I used my brand new immersion blender to finish it off. In case you are not aware, the immersion blender ROCKS! I would trade my husband's golf clubs for it in a heartbeat! (Ok, he would not agree, but that's my commitment level). If you don't have an immersion blender now is the time to invest. It's only about $30-35 and so much nicer than trying to move hot soup into a traditional blender or food processor. Ok now the info-mercial is over and on to the recipe...
Crock Pot Loaded Baked Potato Soup
http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-style-loaded-baked-potato-soup-301754
Ingredients:
6 large baking potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2 inch pieces
1 large onion peeled and chopped
1 quart of chicken broth
3 cloves of garlic minced or pressed
1/2 cup of butter
2 1/2 tsp salt (or to taste)
1 tsp black pepper
1 cup cream or half and half
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
3 tbsp chopped fresh chives
Toppings:
8 sliced of bacon cooked and crumbled
sour cream (optional)
sharp cheese for sprinkling
Combine the first set of ingredients (up to cream) in your slow cooker and cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 8 hours. Mash the mixture (or use your immersion blender!) until it is to your desired consistency. Add the cream, cheese and chives and stir to combine. If using the immersion blender, now is a good time to give it another blend just for fun :)
Serve with extra cheese, bacon crumbles and sour cream if desired. Enjoy!
Crock Pot Loaded Baked Potato Soup
http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-style-loaded-baked-potato-soup-301754
Ingredients:
6 large baking potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2 inch pieces
1 large onion peeled and chopped
1 quart of chicken broth
3 cloves of garlic minced or pressed
1/2 cup of butter
2 1/2 tsp salt (or to taste)
1 tsp black pepper
1 cup cream or half and half
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
3 tbsp chopped fresh chives
Toppings:
8 sliced of bacon cooked and crumbled
sour cream (optional)
sharp cheese for sprinkling
Combine the first set of ingredients (up to cream) in your slow cooker and cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 8 hours. Mash the mixture (or use your immersion blender!) until it is to your desired consistency. Add the cream, cheese and chives and stir to combine. If using the immersion blender, now is a good time to give it another blend just for fun :)
Serve with extra cheese, bacon crumbles and sour cream if desired. Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Childcare Options for the Working Mom (Part II)
Continuing my prior posts on childcare options available for the working parent, I will now discuss alternatives to in home day care. Note this is meant to be a general guide, and from my experience only. Anyone referring to these posts should of course contact the particular provider to confirm whether these apply.
Traditional Day Care Center
Pros:
Licensed and regulated
Longer hours
Fewer care interruptions for weather, vacations or provider illness
Background checks for employees
More defined programs
Greater structure
Greater propensity for illnesses to spread may also build stronger immune systems long term
Cons:
Pick-up times and rules may be inflexible. Fees for late pick-up may be hefty
Higher child to provider ratio
Some decrease in level of personal interaction given to each child
Greater number of illnesses compared to in-home care
Strict rules on child illnesses (ie fever free for 24 hours before allowed back to the center)
Possible long wait lists
Greater liklihood that you will need to continue to pay for care (to keep your spot) on days when your child does not attend (ie for vacation or during maternity leave for a new sibling)
Au Pair
My husband and I have really enjoyed the au pairs that we have hosted in the past. Programs vary but in general au pairs come to your home from another country and spend a year (or a summer depending on the type of au pair) in your home, living in your home with your family and providing up to 45 hours a week of childcare services. Hours are flexible and generally set by you (with some restrictions such as one weekend a month off, and one whole day off per week etc.). In addition, the au pair must take 6 credit hours of courses. Our experience was very positive and incredibly valuable for our children. I now have 3 children who can speak Spanish with no discernable accent (for their age) and who are very open and accepting of cultural differences. Our au pairs lived in our home and participated in many meals and we brought them on vacation but otherwise they spent a lot of their free time out with friends or in their rooms... since as anyone with young children knows, it's very hard to be in sight of them and still "off duty." Thus there was some change in our family life, but we did not find it unpleasant or invasive.
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Extremely Flexible hours - the au pair could be on duty over night if needed, or in split shifts
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals or children's laundry
Your child may learn a new language
Your family may benefit from cultural diversity
For two or more children, generally a lower cost option overall
Regulated by the federal govenment
Au Pairs from a reputable program have background checks, must pass a basic English language evaluation and are given first aid and child care training before entering your home
Younger, often more fun childcare provider
Sick children can stay home with the au pair if needed
The au pair can drive the children to or from after school activities as required
Cons:
Upfront cost can be prohibitive since most programs require a hefty fee at placement
Some language challenges may occur
Some younger au pairs may have certain behavioral challenges (similar to having any young adult in your household)
Possible loss of privacy
Some additional effort on your part in terms of helping your au pair adjust to the U.S. and feel welcome
Some additional effort on your part in researching and interviewing candidates to find a good fit
45 hours a week may not be enough for some parents
Some inconveniences when the au pair takes his or her vacation or if they are very sick. (In my 3 years with au pairs, we have minor interruptions).
Some loss of social interaction if the au pair does not have playgroups
Traditional Nanny
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Possible Flexible hours depending on the provider
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals
Sick children can stay home with the nanny
Nanny may be able to drive children to and from after school activities
Cons:
Greater expense compared to some other options
Not officially regulated though providers may have first aid or child care education
Some interruption to service for provider's vacation, illness or weather
Would need to do some additional legwork to check references and do background check
Traditional Day Care Center
Pros:
Licensed and regulated
Longer hours
Fewer care interruptions for weather, vacations or provider illness
Background checks for employees
More defined programs
Greater structure
Greater propensity for illnesses to spread may also build stronger immune systems long term
Cons:
Pick-up times and rules may be inflexible. Fees for late pick-up may be hefty
Higher child to provider ratio
Some decrease in level of personal interaction given to each child
Greater number of illnesses compared to in-home care
Strict rules on child illnesses (ie fever free for 24 hours before allowed back to the center)
Possible long wait lists
Greater liklihood that you will need to continue to pay for care (to keep your spot) on days when your child does not attend (ie for vacation or during maternity leave for a new sibling)
Au Pair
My husband and I have really enjoyed the au pairs that we have hosted in the past. Programs vary but in general au pairs come to your home from another country and spend a year (or a summer depending on the type of au pair) in your home, living in your home with your family and providing up to 45 hours a week of childcare services. Hours are flexible and generally set by you (with some restrictions such as one weekend a month off, and one whole day off per week etc.). In addition, the au pair must take 6 credit hours of courses. Our experience was very positive and incredibly valuable for our children. I now have 3 children who can speak Spanish with no discernable accent (for their age) and who are very open and accepting of cultural differences. Our au pairs lived in our home and participated in many meals and we brought them on vacation but otherwise they spent a lot of their free time out with friends or in their rooms... since as anyone with young children knows, it's very hard to be in sight of them and still "off duty." Thus there was some change in our family life, but we did not find it unpleasant or invasive.
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Extremely Flexible hours - the au pair could be on duty over night if needed, or in split shifts
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals or children's laundry
Your child may learn a new language
Your family may benefit from cultural diversity
For two or more children, generally a lower cost option overall
Regulated by the federal govenment
Au Pairs from a reputable program have background checks, must pass a basic English language evaluation and are given first aid and child care training before entering your home
Younger, often more fun childcare provider
Sick children can stay home with the au pair if needed
The au pair can drive the children to or from after school activities as required
Cons:
Upfront cost can be prohibitive since most programs require a hefty fee at placement
Some language challenges may occur
Some younger au pairs may have certain behavioral challenges (similar to having any young adult in your household)
Possible loss of privacy
Some additional effort on your part in terms of helping your au pair adjust to the U.S. and feel welcome
Some additional effort on your part in researching and interviewing candidates to find a good fit
45 hours a week may not be enough for some parents
Some inconveniences when the au pair takes his or her vacation or if they are very sick. (In my 3 years with au pairs, we have minor interruptions).
Some loss of social interaction if the au pair does not have playgroups
Traditional Nanny
Pros:
Individual attention for the child / children
Lower child to provider ratio
Possible Flexible hours depending on the provider
No need to take your children out of the home
No need to worry about daytime meals
Sick children can stay home with the nanny
Nanny may be able to drive children to and from after school activities
Cons:
Greater expense compared to some other options
Not officially regulated though providers may have first aid or child care education
Some interruption to service for provider's vacation, illness or weather
Would need to do some additional legwork to check references and do background check
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Crockpot Chicken Cacciatore
This morning I decided to put another of my favorite crockpot recipes in the crockpot. I am looking forward to coming home to this one tonight! Normally I'm quite happy with 5 ingredient recipes for busy mornings. This one is a little more labor intensive than I like, but it's worth it. My kids all like it but of course I have to be careful not to put the peppers or onions or mushrooms on their plates. I suggest larger families may want to double the recipe. It's quite good leftover also.
I usually keep sliced green pepper, sliced onion and sliced mushrooms in my freezer. This way I can quickly grab them for this recipe and toss it in. The freezer tip is also helpful because we don't eat mushrooms in many recipes. This one, the mushrooms do add value to the flavor and I don't really notice them when I'm eating it. As with the onions and green peppers, I try to remove the mushrooms before a child spots it. :)
Crockpot Chicken Cacciatore
http://busycooks.about.com/od/chickenthighrecipes/r/cpcacciatore.htm
6 oz. can tomato paste
1 cup chicken broth
1 onion, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 green bell pepper, sliced or chopped (I slice mine so I can easily identify them for the kids)
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 tsp. dried Italian seasoning
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
Combine the above ingredients in your crockpot and mix to blend evenly. The original recipe also calls for 1/2 cup dry red wine but I've never added it. We aren't wine drinkers in my house and I never seem to have any easily on hand. The recipe is just as good without but if you have wine you may want to try adding it. I imagine it adds a depth of flavor. Cook on low 6-8 hours (I do 8 hours for my frozen thighs).
3 Tbsp. cold water
Add to the crockpot and continue cooking. This should help thicken the sauce.
I usually keep sliced green pepper, sliced onion and sliced mushrooms in my freezer. This way I can quickly grab them for this recipe and toss it in. The freezer tip is also helpful because we don't eat mushrooms in many recipes. This one, the mushrooms do add value to the flavor and I don't really notice them when I'm eating it. As with the onions and green peppers, I try to remove the mushrooms before a child spots it. :)
Crockpot Chicken Cacciatore
http://busycooks.about.com/od/chickenthighrecipes/r/cpcacciatore.htm
Chicken Thighs - I usually use four frozen
14 oz. can diced tomatoes with Italian seasoning (if you only have diced tomatoes just add more Italian seasoning separate) 6 oz. can tomato paste
1 cup chicken broth
1 onion, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 green bell pepper, sliced or chopped (I slice mine so I can easily identify them for the kids)
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 tsp. dried Italian seasoning
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
Combine the above ingredients in your crockpot and mix to blend evenly. The original recipe also calls for 1/2 cup dry red wine but I've never added it. We aren't wine drinkers in my house and I never seem to have any easily on hand. The recipe is just as good without but if you have wine you may want to try adding it. I imagine it adds a depth of flavor. Cook on low 6-8 hours (I do 8 hours for my frozen thighs).
About a half hour before serving combine:
2 Tbsp. cornstarch 3 Tbsp. cold water
Add to the crockpot and continue cooking. This should help thicken the sauce.
I hope you enjoy this as much as we do! It's a nice twist to the traditional spaghetti and healthier too!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Big (or little) Kid lunch ideas
I've spent a lot of time browsing the web for recipe ideas. I enjoy trying new things and my kids are somewhat difficult to please at lunchtime! A question I often see posted is new ideas for school lunches. Here's a few of my more creative ones :) Originally I had grand plans to make fancy bento boxes! But I have since discovered that I do not have time to be excessively creative on a daily basis. But I do try to do fun things when I can!
I like to serve regular sandwiches cut into fun shapes according to the season / holiday - christmas tree, snowflake, heart, circle etc. My older son does not like crust on his bread so cutting with a cookie cutter actually saves me time and I get bonus points! Perfect :)
I also like to make quesadillas and send to school with dipping sauce. Regular cheese or chicken and cheese quesadillas cooked on the stovetop with a little oil and put in the lunchbox cold with a side of salsa are a big favorite with my older daughter. Another big winner for everyone in my house is pizza quesadillas. I cheat and make these in the microwave. I just take a low carb tortilla, spread a very thin layer of pizza sauce, add turkey pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, fold in half and microwave for about 30 seconds. Then I seal the edges, let it cool and cut. I send with pizza sauce for dipping. They think this is a fun break from sandwiches.
I send hot foods like soups, leftover spaghetti, ravioli and even chicken nuggets in a thermos. The kids say the food stays warm (not hot) by lunchtime. I just put hot water in the thermos while I cook or microwave what I'm putting in there (to a hotter than normal temperature), then dump the water, dry it out and put the hot stuff in there.
Occasionally I send cheese, turkey pepperoni and crackers in their lunch box. I almost always send fresh cut fruit like assorted berries, apples, oranges etc. or in a pinch canned fruit like mandarin oranges, peaches or pineapple.
I try to use plastic containers for the lunches to reduce waste and keep life simple (the less I need to remember to buy, the better. I don't mind throwing it in the dishwasher). I have a few of the sandwich boxes and the easy lunchbox containers that I use most often. My kindergarten son has no trouble using them. Below is a link to the lunchbox containers I've been using. I find they fit nicely into a regular kids lunch box (or at least into my kids lunch box) and are convenient.
Best Lunch Box for Work, School, Bento Lunchboxes, Pack Fast: BPA free, single-lid, 3-compartment, bento style food containers, insulated coolers.
I like to serve regular sandwiches cut into fun shapes according to the season / holiday - christmas tree, snowflake, heart, circle etc. My older son does not like crust on his bread so cutting with a cookie cutter actually saves me time and I get bonus points! Perfect :)
I also like to make quesadillas and send to school with dipping sauce. Regular cheese or chicken and cheese quesadillas cooked on the stovetop with a little oil and put in the lunchbox cold with a side of salsa are a big favorite with my older daughter. Another big winner for everyone in my house is pizza quesadillas. I cheat and make these in the microwave. I just take a low carb tortilla, spread a very thin layer of pizza sauce, add turkey pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, fold in half and microwave for about 30 seconds. Then I seal the edges, let it cool and cut. I send with pizza sauce for dipping. They think this is a fun break from sandwiches.
I send hot foods like soups, leftover spaghetti, ravioli and even chicken nuggets in a thermos. The kids say the food stays warm (not hot) by lunchtime. I just put hot water in the thermos while I cook or microwave what I'm putting in there (to a hotter than normal temperature), then dump the water, dry it out and put the hot stuff in there.
Occasionally I send cheese, turkey pepperoni and crackers in their lunch box. I almost always send fresh cut fruit like assorted berries, apples, oranges etc. or in a pinch canned fruit like mandarin oranges, peaches or pineapple.
I try to use plastic containers for the lunches to reduce waste and keep life simple (the less I need to remember to buy, the better. I don't mind throwing it in the dishwasher). I have a few of the sandwich boxes and the easy lunchbox containers that I use most often. My kindergarten son has no trouble using them. Below is a link to the lunchbox containers I've been using. I find they fit nicely into a regular kids lunch box (or at least into my kids lunch box) and are convenient.
Best Lunch Box for Work, School, Bento Lunchboxes, Pack Fast: BPA free, single-lid, 3-compartment, bento style food containers, insulated coolers.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Meal Plan will help you through the week
Every week I try to plan out 7-8 days of meals to cover the next week. I have a list of meals that my family will eat that I keep in my datebook and I spend the week using the list and my moods (haha) to plan our meals.
When planning, I set a plan for the main dishes and sides for dinner. I've occasionally planned out lunches too or weekend breakfasts, but my main goal is to get dinners planned out and prepped as much as possible on the weekends.
To that end, I will plan a weekend meal (like homemade spaghetti or a big turkey or ham) that I can use for a second quick meal during the week. I also try to pre-prep a meal or two, such as baked ziti or a ingredients for my crockpot. If I can prep a meal or two on the weekends, my weekdays are less crazy. I also try to make my most labor intensive dish on Monday. My inclination is to do an easy meal on Monday and my harder dish on Thursday or Friday. But I've found that if I wait until later in the week, I will be even more tired and more likely to do take-out or something quick.
I also plan at least one or two quick and easy meals to coincide with the kids (or my) activities. Football nights, gymnastics, swimming lessons, baseball, PTA meetings... you get the idea. Trying to prepare a meal in the midst of that is just an exercise in futility. McDonalds often ends up the problem solver. To fix that problem, I try to do quick crockpot meals or something easy like chicken nuggets on those nights. I'm more likely to stick to the plan if it's already planned or done.
The crockpot is your friend. As you navigate this site, you will find many more crockpot recipes than normal recipes. That's because I LOVE my crockpot. Truly. The crockpot gets dinner on the table at a reasonable time 2 or 3 nights a week in my house. I've done small turkey breasts in the crockpot which smell like Thanksgiving when you walk in. I've done many roasts and even a whole chicken in the crockpot. So many "long" and "difficult" meals are made more simple with a slow cooker. Also if you like rice, I strongly suggest investing in a rice cooker. Best, easiest way to make rice and requires no standing at the stove stirring or watching, with the bonus of easy clean-up! Another time saving tip that helps me out is pre slicing green pepper, onion, red pepper, celery and even carrots and keeping in ziploc bags in the freezer for quick access on busy nights.
Here's a sample of my meal plan for this week:
Sunday (Today): Crockpot chicken and dumplings, fruit salad
Monday: Slow Cooker Pork Chops (from All Recipes), Rice, Broccoli
Tuesday: Chicken Cacciatore in the Crockpot, Spaghetti, Salad
Wednesday: Purdue breaded chicken, egg noodles, veggie
Thursday: pre-made Baked Ziti, Salad
Friday: Pizza
Saturday: Flank Steak with Chimichurri, Cucumber and Tomato Salad, Tortellini?
When planning, I set a plan for the main dishes and sides for dinner. I've occasionally planned out lunches too or weekend breakfasts, but my main goal is to get dinners planned out and prepped as much as possible on the weekends.
To that end, I will plan a weekend meal (like homemade spaghetti or a big turkey or ham) that I can use for a second quick meal during the week. I also try to pre-prep a meal or two, such as baked ziti or a ingredients for my crockpot. If I can prep a meal or two on the weekends, my weekdays are less crazy. I also try to make my most labor intensive dish on Monday. My inclination is to do an easy meal on Monday and my harder dish on Thursday or Friday. But I've found that if I wait until later in the week, I will be even more tired and more likely to do take-out or something quick.
I also plan at least one or two quick and easy meals to coincide with the kids (or my) activities. Football nights, gymnastics, swimming lessons, baseball, PTA meetings... you get the idea. Trying to prepare a meal in the midst of that is just an exercise in futility. McDonalds often ends up the problem solver. To fix that problem, I try to do quick crockpot meals or something easy like chicken nuggets on those nights. I'm more likely to stick to the plan if it's already planned or done.
The crockpot is your friend. As you navigate this site, you will find many more crockpot recipes than normal recipes. That's because I LOVE my crockpot. Truly. The crockpot gets dinner on the table at a reasonable time 2 or 3 nights a week in my house. I've done small turkey breasts in the crockpot which smell like Thanksgiving when you walk in. I've done many roasts and even a whole chicken in the crockpot. So many "long" and "difficult" meals are made more simple with a slow cooker. Also if you like rice, I strongly suggest investing in a rice cooker. Best, easiest way to make rice and requires no standing at the stove stirring or watching, with the bonus of easy clean-up! Another time saving tip that helps me out is pre slicing green pepper, onion, red pepper, celery and even carrots and keeping in ziploc bags in the freezer for quick access on busy nights.
Here's a sample of my meal plan for this week:
Sunday (Today): Crockpot chicken and dumplings, fruit salad
Monday: Slow Cooker Pork Chops (from All Recipes), Rice, Broccoli
Tuesday: Chicken Cacciatore in the Crockpot, Spaghetti, Salad
Wednesday: Purdue breaded chicken, egg noodles, veggie
Thursday: pre-made Baked Ziti, Salad
Friday: Pizza
Saturday: Flank Steak with Chimichurri, Cucumber and Tomato Salad, Tortellini?
Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings for the busy mom
I've adapted this recipe from a similar recipe on Allrecipes.com. Nearly everyone in my house seems to like it, which is a great accomplishment with younger children! :)
Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
1 onion diced
2 carrots peeled and sliced
1 stalk of celery washed and sliced
2 potatoes peeled and diced into big chunks
4 chicken breasts (I usually use frozen)
1 1/2 cups of chicken broth
a few good shakes of Pepper
~ 1 tsp Thyme
Dumplings
Bisquick
Water as directed on the box
(as an alternative you can use refrigerated biscuit dough instead)
Combine the above in your crockpot. Cook on high for 4-5 hours or on low for 6-8 hours (use the longer cooking time if you are using frozen breasts or if your slow cooker is slower than average. About an hour before the end of cooking time, mix up your Bisquick by following the directions for dumplings on the box. Drop by tablespoon-fulls into your crockpot mixture and let cook for an additional hour to hour and a half. Add additional salt / pepper as needed.
Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
1 onion diced
2 carrots peeled and sliced
1 stalk of celery washed and sliced
2 potatoes peeled and diced into big chunks
4 chicken breasts (I usually use frozen)
1 1/2 cups of chicken broth
a few good shakes of Pepper
~ 1 tsp Thyme
Dumplings
Bisquick
Water as directed on the box
(as an alternative you can use refrigerated biscuit dough instead)
Combine the above in your crockpot. Cook on high for 4-5 hours or on low for 6-8 hours (use the longer cooking time if you are using frozen breasts or if your slow cooker is slower than average. About an hour before the end of cooking time, mix up your Bisquick by following the directions for dumplings on the box. Drop by tablespoon-fulls into your crockpot mixture and let cook for an additional hour to hour and a half. Add additional salt / pepper as needed.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Childcare Options for the Working Mom
Every working mom has the difficult and critical decision of who should watch their little ones while they are at work. And the inevitable guilt that comes with that decision. Let's get this out of the way - chances are there is no one better suited to raise your child than you. In a perfect world, there would be no need for moms to sleep and we'd be able to work our 8, 10, 12 hours (earning money, challenging ourselves and fulfilling our personal desire to have adult conversation) while the kids were sleeping, and be a stay at home mom during their waking hours. In reality, sleep is unfortunately necessary (to me at least). So I will skip over the many reasons why you do need to work or why it's ok to work. I will simply say (in this post), that if you are working, it's ok and there are many others like you. And we all need childcare.
Here's a breakdown of the options, many of which I've tried.
In home daycare
We had my first child in an in-home daycare for the first 14 months of her life. My sister was the daycare provider so I had a little extra confidence from that perspective (love my big sis!) but the concept is the same.
Licensed:
Basically if possible it's best to use a licensed in home daycare provider. In my state, there is a listing on the state's website of providers and their phone numbers. So you could start there. The state usually has annual classes that the licensed provider needs to attend (child nuitrition, safety, etc), your provider will be first aid and CPR certified, and the state probably does inspections of the home to ensure all their guidelines are followed. This will vary by state so be sure to check your state's requirements. There is an extra level of confidence in a licensed in home daycare provider, in my humble opinion.
Pros:
First aid / CPR
State regulated
Many meals and snacks are probably included and nutricious (be sure to check with individual provider)
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cost is usually reasonable / lower than a traditional daycare center
Cons:
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc.
Un-licensed
In home daycare that is not licensed by the state is also an option, and usually one of the lowest cost options available. In general, there are plenty of excellent providers who are not licensed due to cost, time, or other reasons. However, I suggest that extra caution must be exercised when using an unlicensed center. You would want a clear view of all the spaces where your child would be playing and resting. You will want to reassure yourself of the safety of those spaces the same as you have at home (cabinets locked, outlet covers, gates for steps etc) as well as the cleanliness of the home. I would also want to observe the provider in action before bringing my child. Try to visit at a time when the other children are there. Does the provider greet children by name and with enthusiasm? Are the children acting normally? How many children are there? Is there adequate space etc. Personally, I would not like an un-licensed center unless I knew the provider. But with research and careful attention, there are good options available.
Pros:
lower cost option
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cons
No oversight by the state
Less likely to be formally educated on nutrition, safety, first aid etc (you will need to question and observe on these)
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc
For more info on choosing an in home provider
http://www.babycenter.com/0_signs-of-a-good-home-daycare_6031.bc
More to follow soon...
Here's a breakdown of the options, many of which I've tried.
In home daycare
We had my first child in an in-home daycare for the first 14 months of her life. My sister was the daycare provider so I had a little extra confidence from that perspective (love my big sis!) but the concept is the same.
Licensed:
Basically if possible it's best to use a licensed in home daycare provider. In my state, there is a listing on the state's website of providers and their phone numbers. So you could start there. The state usually has annual classes that the licensed provider needs to attend (child nuitrition, safety, etc), your provider will be first aid and CPR certified, and the state probably does inspections of the home to ensure all their guidelines are followed. This will vary by state so be sure to check your state's requirements. There is an extra level of confidence in a licensed in home daycare provider, in my humble opinion.
Pros:
First aid / CPR
State regulated
Many meals and snacks are probably included and nutricious (be sure to check with individual provider)
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cost is usually reasonable / lower than a traditional daycare center
Cons:
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc.
Un-licensed
In home daycare that is not licensed by the state is also an option, and usually one of the lowest cost options available. In general, there are plenty of excellent providers who are not licensed due to cost, time, or other reasons. However, I suggest that extra caution must be exercised when using an unlicensed center. You would want a clear view of all the spaces where your child would be playing and resting. You will want to reassure yourself of the safety of those spaces the same as you have at home (cabinets locked, outlet covers, gates for steps etc) as well as the cleanliness of the home. I would also want to observe the provider in action before bringing my child. Try to visit at a time when the other children are there. Does the provider greet children by name and with enthusiasm? Are the children acting normally? How many children are there? Is there adequate space etc. Personally, I would not like an un-licensed center unless I knew the provider. But with research and careful attention, there are good options available.
Pros:
lower cost option
Lower ratio of children per provider
More personal attention
Loving environment (hopefully)
Cons
No oversight by the state
Less likely to be formally educated on nutrition, safety, first aid etc (you will need to question and observe on these)
Hours may be restricted and less flexible
Occasional closure on short notice due to family emergencies etc
Some small increase in germs (compared to staying home)
Child may be taken places with the provider such as grocery store, doctors office etc
For more info on choosing an in home provider
http://www.babycenter.com/0_signs-of-a-good-home-daycare_6031.bc
More to follow soon...
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Say what you mean, mean what you say and Get it done!
Speak up. Communicate. Explain. Advocate.
You are your own best cheerleader and your own best friend. One of the most important things you can do for yourself, is to advocate for what you need or desire. This holds true in the workplace, where you must sell yourself, advocate for yourself, cover your backside, and "manage UP" to succeed. This holds true at home or in a relationship with your spouse or even your children! Tell the people you love and even those you don't like, how to satisfy your needs or wants. You are willing and able to do it with complete strangers at the credit card company; why not your spouse? Truly no one is a mind reader and your happiness is your own responsibility.
Now, the above does not mean that you should go full circle and suddenly be completely selfish and self-serving. I think most of us can admit that most women, and especially most mothers, are simply not built that way. We help others. We feed, clothe, clean, organize, teach, and raise others. We backburner our own needs and desires to serve those we love.
But we can be team players and self-promoting at the same time. In the workplace, present your boss with your problems and your solutions. For example, I have difficulty at work with one of the other managers. I could say (to the big boss), "Joe does NOTHING. He makes me do all his work and then takes credit for what I've done and brown-noses his way to the top. I'm unappreciated and fed up!"
But I need to take a step back and consider what this says about ME as well as him. The above could result in my sudden recognition and promotion and Joe finally getting fired like he deserves! But more likely, that spiel will label me as a whiner, a trouble maker, a tattle-tale and not a team player.
In contast, I can say. "I've noticed that certain other people are asking me to do this work for them on a regular basis. I'm happy to help the team in urgent situations, but this takes away from my ability to handle my responsibilities. We need to teach them what they need to know to do the work themselves in the future. Can I put together a training program for the entire team so that everyone is better prepared to find this information next time?"
I'm not a guru for all things business related and having 11 years in the working world, I still have much to learn. But in general the above exchange should result in you getting what you WANT and NEED while solving your problem and setting yourself up as a go-getter, problem solver, team builder. And with luck, your boss will pay closer attention to who's doing what.
This same concept applies in your home. Your husband or significant other is inconsiderate and does not ____ (Fill in the blank here - make dinner, do dishes, clean up after himself, get you a beer, give the kids baths, get you wine, give the kids attention, get you flowers...). Marriage and relationships are about compromise. You need to pick your battles and then you need to strategize about the most appropriate way to communicate your message. You need to know yourself well enough to decide if this is something you need to address or not. And if it is, then you need to address it. Blowing up at your loved one after 10 years of the same repeated inconsiderate behavior does not do any good. All that does is make you crazy and make the situation less likely to be solvable.
Instead, consider addressing the problem after you've had some time to think it through and look at your emotions. Type an email and re-read it a few times before you send it. Remove words like "YOU" (or any subsequent cursing! haha) and replace with "I" or "WE". Try to avoid placing blame or name-calling. Use the workplace "sandwich" approach. Positive, negative, positive. I LOVE WHEN YOU... It would be great if you could... I LOVE WHEN YOU... In this way, it comes off less as blaming or criticism and more as friendly suggestions.
The above approach is best for times when you truly want results or change or simple consideration of your feelings. There are times when you will just be ANGRY and need to vent to your significant other. When emotions are running high and you are emotional and need to get your anger out, it's best done over the phone rather than in written form. Over the phone you can name call and place blame and curse. And it won't be sitting there staring him/her (or you) in the face for all eternity. But, at the same time, words resonate and what you say will sting and come back to them (sometimes not as nicely as you said it). So know what you mean, mean what you say and most of all get it done!
It's ok to advocate for yourself. If you're allergic to everything under the sun, you should tell people what food to bring you (or at least a few choices). You should not assume that they know or will remember exactly what you can or cannot eat. Stand up and make it happen. It should cause minor (if any) problems to the other person while making you much happier. You won't lie around feeling unloved and depressed that no one remembered you; you will now be feeling happy and fulfilled. :)
If you need that raise at work, go tell your boss all of your accomplishments and why you DESERVE a raise. What you have DONE. Complaining of your low pay isn't getting it done.
If your child is overlooked in school, go talk to the school about how your child can do better and be selected next time. Sitting back complaining about favoritism isn't getting it done.
If you husband buys you a bunch of lumber for your birthday, talk to him. Be grateful and thankful! Yet explain that you love how he thought of making your day to day easier and making a cozy fire for you day after day. But lumber is not a dream gift. He may make a similar misstep next year but at least it will be off your chest and you'll be feeling better.
As with all things, life is flexible. You get out of it, what you put into it. Stop complaining. Do something. Stop trying to change the fundamentals of your significant other - let them be who they are. DO something to ensure they treat you with the same courtesy. Be your own advocate. You deserve to be happy as much as everyone else. You still need to care for the ones you love. But they can do their part to care for you too. And that's OK.
You are your own best cheerleader and your own best friend. One of the most important things you can do for yourself, is to advocate for what you need or desire. This holds true in the workplace, where you must sell yourself, advocate for yourself, cover your backside, and "manage UP" to succeed. This holds true at home or in a relationship with your spouse or even your children! Tell the people you love and even those you don't like, how to satisfy your needs or wants. You are willing and able to do it with complete strangers at the credit card company; why not your spouse? Truly no one is a mind reader and your happiness is your own responsibility.
Now, the above does not mean that you should go full circle and suddenly be completely selfish and self-serving. I think most of us can admit that most women, and especially most mothers, are simply not built that way. We help others. We feed, clothe, clean, organize, teach, and raise others. We backburner our own needs and desires to serve those we love.
But we can be team players and self-promoting at the same time. In the workplace, present your boss with your problems and your solutions. For example, I have difficulty at work with one of the other managers. I could say (to the big boss), "Joe does NOTHING. He makes me do all his work and then takes credit for what I've done and brown-noses his way to the top. I'm unappreciated and fed up!"
But I need to take a step back and consider what this says about ME as well as him. The above could result in my sudden recognition and promotion and Joe finally getting fired like he deserves! But more likely, that spiel will label me as a whiner, a trouble maker, a tattle-tale and not a team player.
In contast, I can say. "I've noticed that certain other people are asking me to do this work for them on a regular basis. I'm happy to help the team in urgent situations, but this takes away from my ability to handle my responsibilities. We need to teach them what they need to know to do the work themselves in the future. Can I put together a training program for the entire team so that everyone is better prepared to find this information next time?"
I'm not a guru for all things business related and having 11 years in the working world, I still have much to learn. But in general the above exchange should result in you getting what you WANT and NEED while solving your problem and setting yourself up as a go-getter, problem solver, team builder. And with luck, your boss will pay closer attention to who's doing what.
This same concept applies in your home. Your husband or significant other is inconsiderate and does not ____ (Fill in the blank here - make dinner, do dishes, clean up after himself, get you a beer, give the kids baths, get you wine, give the kids attention, get you flowers...). Marriage and relationships are about compromise. You need to pick your battles and then you need to strategize about the most appropriate way to communicate your message. You need to know yourself well enough to decide if this is something you need to address or not. And if it is, then you need to address it. Blowing up at your loved one after 10 years of the same repeated inconsiderate behavior does not do any good. All that does is make you crazy and make the situation less likely to be solvable.
Instead, consider addressing the problem after you've had some time to think it through and look at your emotions. Type an email and re-read it a few times before you send it. Remove words like "YOU" (or any subsequent cursing! haha) and replace with "I" or "WE". Try to avoid placing blame or name-calling. Use the workplace "sandwich" approach. Positive, negative, positive. I LOVE WHEN YOU... It would be great if you could... I LOVE WHEN YOU... In this way, it comes off less as blaming or criticism and more as friendly suggestions.
The above approach is best for times when you truly want results or change or simple consideration of your feelings. There are times when you will just be ANGRY and need to vent to your significant other. When emotions are running high and you are emotional and need to get your anger out, it's best done over the phone rather than in written form. Over the phone you can name call and place blame and curse. And it won't be sitting there staring him/her (or you) in the face for all eternity. But, at the same time, words resonate and what you say will sting and come back to them (sometimes not as nicely as you said it). So know what you mean, mean what you say and most of all get it done!
It's ok to advocate for yourself. If you're allergic to everything under the sun, you should tell people what food to bring you (or at least a few choices). You should not assume that they know or will remember exactly what you can or cannot eat. Stand up and make it happen. It should cause minor (if any) problems to the other person while making you much happier. You won't lie around feeling unloved and depressed that no one remembered you; you will now be feeling happy and fulfilled. :)
If you need that raise at work, go tell your boss all of your accomplishments and why you DESERVE a raise. What you have DONE. Complaining of your low pay isn't getting it done.
If your child is overlooked in school, go talk to the school about how your child can do better and be selected next time. Sitting back complaining about favoritism isn't getting it done.
If you husband buys you a bunch of lumber for your birthday, talk to him. Be grateful and thankful! Yet explain that you love how he thought of making your day to day easier and making a cozy fire for you day after day. But lumber is not a dream gift. He may make a similar misstep next year but at least it will be off your chest and you'll be feeling better.
As with all things, life is flexible. You get out of it, what you put into it. Stop complaining. Do something. Stop trying to change the fundamentals of your significant other - let them be who they are. DO something to ensure they treat you with the same courtesy. Be your own advocate. You deserve to be happy as much as everyone else. You still need to care for the ones you love. But they can do their part to care for you too. And that's OK.
The Crockpot - A mom's best friend
I love coming home to a home cooked meal. The smells that hit you when you walk in the door are priceless. I love the relaxing evening of just eating. I love a night off from rushing to put together a meal in the midst of kids and dogs and endless demands.
My crockpot is my best friend. Seriously. I kicked my husband to the couch, so my crockpot could have a spot to rest ;) Of course I'm kidding. Thankfully the crockpot doesn't speak or it would have me making all kinds of concessions. A good meal that I don't have to make is hard to come by! Well, technically I did make this meal, but since I made it on average 8-10 hours prior... it doesn't FEEL like I'm making it, know what I mean?
Last night I made one of the simplest and yummiest meals I've found for my crockpot. I call it Mexican Chicken (actually, that might even be the name of the dish? I'm not sure since I've lost the original poster's information. If it's you, please claim it!).
Crockpot Mexican Chicken
Chicken breasts (I usually use 3-4 frozen)
Taco Seasoning packet (or use your own if you like)
A jar of salsa
Spray your crockpot / slow cooker with cooking spray. Mix the taco seasoning and salsa together. Place your chicken in the crockpot and pour the salsa mix on top. Cook on low for 6-8 hours (I usually do 8-9 hours with frozen chicken) or on high for 4 hours. Shred the chicken and serve warm on tortillas with shredded cheese of your choice (I like the mexican blend) and any other toppings you like. Serves 4-6.
My crockpot is my best friend. Seriously. I kicked my husband to the couch, so my crockpot could have a spot to rest ;) Of course I'm kidding. Thankfully the crockpot doesn't speak or it would have me making all kinds of concessions. A good meal that I don't have to make is hard to come by! Well, technically I did make this meal, but since I made it on average 8-10 hours prior... it doesn't FEEL like I'm making it, know what I mean?
Last night I made one of the simplest and yummiest meals I've found for my crockpot. I call it Mexican Chicken (actually, that might even be the name of the dish? I'm not sure since I've lost the original poster's information. If it's you, please claim it!).
Crockpot Mexican Chicken
Chicken breasts (I usually use 3-4 frozen)
Taco Seasoning packet (or use your own if you like)
A jar of salsa
Spray your crockpot / slow cooker with cooking spray. Mix the taco seasoning and salsa together. Place your chicken in the crockpot and pour the salsa mix on top. Cook on low for 6-8 hours (I usually do 8-9 hours with frozen chicken) or on high for 4 hours. Shred the chicken and serve warm on tortillas with shredded cheese of your choice (I like the mexican blend) and any other toppings you like. Serves 4-6.
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